Category Archives: Non-toy ad Tuesday

The Ups and Downs of the Cat

“Wooof, please stop jumping up and down on top of the scanner,” I said to the office cat this morning. “Look what you’ve gone and done to our advert for ‘Splash Out’. I’m going to have to scan it again now!”



“It’s not me!” replied the cat. “It’s this new Yo-Yo I bought from the toy shop in town. It seems to have a mind all of it’s own!”

“Yo-Yo you say? That reminds me, I need to scan a couple of Yo-Yo adverts I found in the archives – if you’ve quite finished destroying the office equipment?”

“No worries,” said the cat. “I’ll go practice my Yo-Yo skills in the garden.”

“Not too close to the greenhouse though, eh?”

“Do you think I’m that daft?”

Later … Smash! Tinkle! Shatter! Meeeowwwlll!


1980s Coca-Cola and Fanta Yo-Yos by Russell

In other Up and Down news…
R2-D2 defies gravity, C-3PO keeps his feet on the ground …

Illustration by David Kawami from The Star Wars Question and Answer Book about Space. 1979.

Q: What cool thing happens when you cross a video game icon with bubble gum and pocket money? 
A: The Pac-Man Bubble Gum Money Box! (I so want one of these!)

Hamleys. UK. 1983.

Oops! Putting your foot in it …

Hamleys. UK. 1983.

Nadia and her gymnasium

Ets De Neuter. 1995. France.

Make friends … yes 🙂

Junior Sales Club. 1974

The Whizz Kids Guide, How To books

Star Wars Weekly. UK. 1979.

Big Jim, Big Josh, Big Jack, Dr. Acero

Congost catalogue. 1977. Spain.

Crashback – crushable and expandable vans on command! 

More Fun From Kenner. US. 1997.

XRC by Tonka

More Fun From Kenner. US. 1997.

Here be dragons …

Hamleys. UK. 1983.

That’s all for now vintage mates. I’m off to buy new window panes for the TVTA greenhouse. Wooof’s off to Yo-Yo lessons for cats. See you soon 🙂

 

Predictive text – it’s no picnic

‘Why are you looking so perplexed?’ Wooof asked me this morning during my third cup of coffee.

‘It’s that predictive text thingy,’ I said.

‘Oh?’

‘Well, it never works. For example, I’ve been researching for a big writing piece I’m working on. I tried to enter into my search engine: “Public Inquiries of the Twentieth Century” … and do you know what it predicted?’

‘What?’

‘”Picnic Injuries of the Twentieth Century”, that’s what!’

‘Ha-ha,’ laughed the cat. ‘I suppose that might involve trapped fingers inside hampers, wasp stings, napkin cuts, champagne corks in the eye.’

‘It’s pretty serious stuff when you look into it. Perhaps we ought to warn our readers?’

‘We should,’ agreed the cat. ‘Summer’s only around the corner. Soon there’ll be chequered blankets and condiments everywhere! How are we to keep the good folk of Vintage-land safe?’

‘By launching our very own public service picnic ad campaign!’ I said.

‘Are you serious?’

‘Sometimes.’

‘Alright,’ said the cat. ‘Let’s do it!’


INTRODUCING 

TVTA’s Summertime Safe Picnic Initiative is proudly sponsored by Badgerworth’s Wasp-catcher Kettles and Foxes & Fangles Mind That Bear Exploding Monkeys.



Ask The Family! 

We asked 1960’s Tammy’s family for their top Dos and Don’ts when it comes to enjoying a safe picnic in style.


The right look, the safe look!

Tammy: “It’s important for me to look my best at all times. But when it comes to picnics… skiing, roller skates and archery are huge no-go areas. Don’t be tempted by the latest fads or what your friends might say. It’s just not worth the risk!”

 

Below: Good show Tammy, that’s the safe way to picnic and you still look stylish!


Don’t be a square, daddy-o!

Ted and Dad are taking big risks by wearing such formal and warm attire to the picnic. 27% of picnic fatalities are caused by heat exposure and the rapid onset of mindless delirium. In severe cases the over-heated picnicker may resort to heinous criminal activity. 

Below: That’s better lads!


Stay cool, but never be underdressed!

Blimey Mom, watch out for your skin! More than 32% of picnic fatalities are caused by deadly insects attracted to human flesh. In addition, serious sunburn injuries can occur within just minutes of exposing bare arms and legs on the picnic blanket. Don’t risk it. Cover up sensibly. Mom looks great for a woman her age, let’s keep her that way!


Keep an eye on children at all times!

More than 47% of picnic fatalities arise from children being taken offsite by wild bears, mountain lions, Komodo dragons and in rare cases sharks.

Be seen!

Tammy’s younger sister Pepper says: “When I was very young I had to stay at home during family picnics. Understandable. The risk was too great. Now I’m older I wear the latest, brightest and fashionable clothing so that my family can easily spot me. Bright colours can also act as a deterrent to killer animals. Don’t forget to accessorise with glitter and jewellery to make you really stand out! Visibility coupled with style is key. How else will your family be able to find you as wild creatures drag you screaming into the woods by your bleeding hair follicles and…  

… alright Pepper that’s enough, we get the idea. Stop freaking us out! 

Picnic on dudes!

So dear reader, this summer, be safe, be seen, be stylish, and most importantly enjoy your picnic adventures!

 


Editor’s note: If you would like to find out more about Tammy’s family then please take a look at our excellent Tammy catalogue pages here

And Wooof, please change the site logo back to how it was!

Non-toy ad Tuesday – Valentine Office Cats

St. Valentine’s Day is almost upon us, and it’s right about now Wooof starts receiving in the post more ‘Valentine’ mail than we do adverts and catalogues combined. Honestly, this morning when I arrived at the front door of TVTA Towers I nearly broke an ankle tripping over Wooof’s fan mail. Not that I’m jealous or anything. The last time I received a Valentine card was when I time travelled all the way back to the Romantic Era to pick up a fine tapestry made for me by a most charming and aspiring poet. The tapestry weighed a ton, and sadly it disintegrated upon re-entry to the 21st Century. But it’s the thought that counts.

Wooof asked me to post up some items from his ‘cat collection’ before he departed for three days of Valentine pampering at the Kool Kitty Jazz Spa in town.

Here you go cat lovers… miaou… miaou .!

Theophile Alexandre Steinlen. Collection du Chat Noir. 1898.

Quinquina Dubonnet. Jules Cheret. 1896.

Une Vie De Chat / A Cat’s Life (A cat in Paris). Japan. 2012.

Une Vie De Chat (reverse)

The Celtic Animal Oracle. Franklin and Mason. 2003. Vega.

Lisette. 1946. France.

Cat Fancy. Feb 2015.

Cat Fancy. Feb 2015.

Les Aventuriers du Micromonde. Pif Gadget. 1982.

Sunday Pictorial. 1926. UK.

Film Review. 1979. UK.

The lack of sleep of the cat

No work for three whole days! Yippee Wooof, it is Tuesday, right? Absotiffily, replied the cat, who was returning, somewhat bleary-eyed, from all an all-nighter down in the archives. Armed with empty cartons of Are-You-Feline-Fine-Cat-Fuel, Miow-Miow-Nitro-biscuits and a dozen or so vintage adverts, the poor mog looked absolutely exhausted!

You’re working too hard, you should take a day off, I told him, like me. Not until we get these latest ads scanned, replied the cat. We’ve got deadlines, didn’t ya know.

Me: Yes, and you have crows feet, and more bags under your eyes than the Eye of Horus coming out of Sainsbury’s on a Saturday morning! Now give me those ads and go and grab some zeds. I’ll do the scanning today.

Wooof: If you’re sure?

Me: So long as there are no clown ads I’m good.

Wooof: Nope, no clown ads today.

Me: Positive?

Wooof: Positive. Jings, sonny, when are you going to get over this ridiculous fear of clowns?

Me: I’m trying, Wooof, I’m trying. Now, donc, alors, allez, au lit… bonne nuit!

Righto, said the cat, on my way! Oh, and by the way, it’s not Tuesday, it’s Wednesday…

Too late. Cue sounds of scanner….

Whirr… whirr… click…

Whirr… whirr… click…

Whirr… whirr… click…

Whirr… whirr…

Whirr…

Woooooooooffffffffff!!!”


In today’s Non-toy ad Tuesday non-Tuesday non-sleep blog post, we get all bubblegummed-up with Malabar and Bazooka. We get snappy with Kodak and Polaroid cameras, quench our thirst with sporty-themed drinks, brush our teeth with Colgate, discover that in Danish Kaptajn Knas cereals is Cap’n Crunch cereals, and Peter Plys is Winnie-the-Pooh, and lastly we get busy with the fizzy SodaStream!

Malabar Bubblegum

France. Pif Gadget. 1983.

France. Pif Gadget. 1983.

France. Pif Gadget. 1978.

Polaroid Instant 10 Camera

France. Pif Gadget. 1978.

Kodak camera

Denmark. Anders And & Co. 1983.

Colgate

Denmark. Anders And & Co. 1983.

Sporty-themed Drinks

Denmark. 1988.

France. Pif Gadget. 1977.

Kaptajn Knas is Cap’n Crunch in Denmark

Denmark. Anders And & Co. 1987.

Peter Plys is Winnie-the-Pooh in Denmark

Denmark. Anders And & Co. 1981.

SodaStream

Denmark. Anders And & Co. 1981.

Denmark. 1980.

Thank you for bypassing clowns with us 🙂

Non-toy ad Tuesday: music and meetings

Wooof and I just got back from the International Retro Editor & Cat Conference in Oslo. Ha, what a bunch of losers those editors and cats are! Just look at this photo we took –

Oh… wait, what’s that Wooof? You mean that photo is actually us … at the TVTA editorial staff meeting from last November? Wow, we look so strung out. Must get vitamins and haircuts!

So, Wooof, remind me, what is the subject of our latest Non-toy ad Tuesday article?

That’s right, it’s music!

We’ll be looking at French goodies such as a 1983 cover of Rock & BD magazine … a prize competition to put words into James Brown’s mouth! … adverts for the Body Rap, Miles Davis, U2 … and there’s also some Danish treats with Mr Music cassettes, Ga-jol throat lozenges, and a 1969 Disney competition to win a Philips stereo!

Enjoy, while we go get a haircut and straighten out!


France. Rock & BD Associated. 1983.

Polydor and Rigolo magazine prize competition to win James Brown album reissues. Question 2 asks you to imagine the Godfather of soul’s reaction when faced with these magnificent Polydor reissues! France. Rigolo. 1983.

France. Cora. 1988.

France. Rock & BD Associated. 1983.

France. Rock & BD Associated. 1983.

France. Rigolo. 1983.

Denmark. 1988.

Denmark. 1988.

Denmark. 1988.

Denmark. 1969.


See you again soon for another Non-toy ad Tuesday!