Non toy-ad Tuesday: feed me sweet things!

Feeling peckish? How about a nice soft drink to wash down your elevenses, twelveses and thirteenses? If the answer is yes, then get your sweet tooth sharpened as TVTA fires up the office scanner to present you with a sumptious and scrumptious selection of retro snack and drink adverts to tantalise your taste buds!

We have candy, biscuits, chocolate, Hostess Fruit Pies, fizzy pop, gum, cereals, and Wonder bread! Heck – we even have a selection of mushrooms – why not! Our intrepid office cat, Wooof, says that mushrooms are a veritable and versatile kitchen companion if ever there was. And Wooof should know, he has an A-Level in cookery!

Let’s get stuck in… yum!

The Wilton Yearbook of Cake Decorating. 1982. US.

Bread and alien visitors! Get Close Encounters of the Third Kind movie trading cards just for eating bread! But not just any bread… Wonder Bread! 1978. US.

More freebies! Weetabix yourself silly to collect tokens for Crayola crayons and a colouring-in poster, courtesy of the Weetabix Gang. 1988. UK.

Bonkers Fruit Candy bike bag offer. 1985. US.

The aliens are coming… and they need their thirst quenching! But only one drink will do… Quosh whole orange drink. 1988. UK.

Cadbury’s Playtime Pack. 1988. UK.

Make room for the mushrooms? Just don’t eat the one at the top right of our picture. 1978. France.

Tang breakfast Soccer Team offer. Join the Tang team and get free football and Pelé stuff. 1988. US.

TVTA trope time!

Hostess Cup Cakes, Fruit Pies and Twinkies. TVTA just can’t get enough of those delicious, creamy, fruity, crime-busting snacks!! Don’t believe us? Check out our tasty Hostess mega post here  In the meantime, stuff yourself silly on these two fantastic Hostess Batman ads!


I want it all!

Finally, we leave you with a gallery of goodness featuring sweets, biscuits, cake, chocolate, soft drinks, cereals and gum… 

 


That’s all vintage mates, Wooof says you can stop eating now otherwise you’ll make yourself sick! Thank you for getting snacky with us. Please dispose of your wrappers in the nearest recycling bin. This post has been brought to you by Wooof-Wonky-Wonder-Bar-Cat-Snack-a-jacks-In-a-hat, and 1,000 Radioactive Recipes For The Apocalypse by Hoi Ken Cook and Rosemary Basilcrush. This post is single-use packaging free, 100% biodegradable, and may sustain you in conjuction with an active lifestyle.

Office cat tales: The gum of the cat

‘A nice gift in each packet’. Malabar bubble-gum. 1983. France.

This morning I was surprised to see our office cat Wooof floating inside what can only be described as a pink balloon of bubble-gum.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“I’m floating inside a pink balloon of bubble-gum,” replied the cat.

It seemed perfectly reasonable for me to ask, “Why?”

“I was scanning some adverts for a blog post about bubble-gum and chewing-gum when I stumbled across several old packs of the pink stuff which accidently on purpose fell into my mouth.”

“You mean you’ve been chewing vintage gum again?”

“Yes. Forty-seven pieces to be precise.”

“Gloria Gaynor, Wooof! I know TVTA has been accused of being trapped inside a worthless vintage bubble, but you’ve taken that criticism to a whole new level.”

“If I don’t stop floating upwards I may reach a new level entirely – like outside,” said the cat nervously. “I see you still haven’t replaced the missing roof tiles. How about you poke me with a big stick, quick, before I end up fighting for air space with the starlings, drones and police helicopters.”

“Poke you with a stick?” I said. “I’d hate to deflate your ego dear cat.”

“This is no time for your ridiculous puns.”

Office cat bubble-pun gum-filled trip to the sun?

“Just poke me!”

And so I grabbed a nearby bargepole (for some reason we have nine of them in the TVTA office) and I deflated the cat, who landed on the floor with such a wallop that Mrs Coldkettle the tea lady dropped the coffee urn on her big toe and delivered a volley of such fierce oaths that it immediately began to rain. But back to the poor cat… and post-explosion Wooof had made a terrible mess on the office floor – all pink, sticky fur and candyfloss tail and globs of gum and retro adverts strewn about like an 80s Barbie party gone mad.

“Look at the state of me,” moaned the cat. “How will I get all this gum out of my fur?”

“Looks like I’ll have to leave you in the office fridge-freezer overnight,” I said.

“No way! You know we have an angry polar bear in the fridge!”

“Wooof, stop linking to that old post! It’s ancient history.”

“You’ll be ancient history if you don’t hurry up and get this gum out of my fur.”

“Alright. Calm down. Now, where’s your Hello Kitty grooming brush? I’m afraid this is going to hurt you more than it’s going to hurt me…”

Hours later

So, after much cat-a-wailing the cat finally got de-gummed, and we even had time to finish scanning all those bubble gum and chewing gum adverts he’d found. Phew!



Hollywood chewing gum 2001 Star Wars promotion

Hollywood Star Wars promotion. 2001. France. Front of box.

Hollywood Star Wars promotion. 2001. France. Rear of box collectable images.


That’s all from us today folks. Beep-beep!

Thank you for masticating with us 🙂

Malabar gum. 1983. France.


The fashion of the cat – super cool retro clothing ads!

It’s official! Stuntman T-shirt. The Incredible Hulk N°301. 1984. US.

A TVTA Fashion Exclusive !!!

Wooof was so excited. The intrepid office cat had been busy preparing our Non-toy ad Tuesday segment when he came across a 1982 advert for Starburst sweatshirts!

“Of course I’ll order you some,” I told him. “After all you’re not quite sixteen yet and don’t have a bank account.”

Cue one happy cat and the order form completed of our first featured ad. Right, time to fire up the office time machine in the name of fashion and exclamation mark overuse as we go shopping!!!!!

Starburst Sweatshirts!

Starburst Sweatshirt offer. Rampage Magazine N°54. 1982. UK.

Official Doctor Who Peter Davison T-shirt.

I want this!! Wooof, can you add it to our Doctor Who wishlist?

Doctor Who Monthly N°78. 1983. UK.

X-Men Mutant Gear.

Mrs Coldkettle the TVTA tea lady has been after a Cyclops tour jacket since 1994!

Die Cut N°4. 1994. US.

Marvel streetwear. Perfect for kids, badgers and foxes!

Wooof’s best friends in the TVTA neighbourhood is a gang of friendly badgers and foxes. Wooof’s promised to order them some cool Marvel apparel for their birthdays, as seen in the advert below. Such a thoughtful cat.

Marvel Classics. Die Cut N°4. 1994.

JNCO Autopilot Trainers

Alessandro the pigeon who lives on the TVTA roof has expressed an interest in a pair of these.

JNCO. The Young All-Stars N°9. 1988.

Matchbox T-shirt and Team Members’ Cap!

Club gear awaits, courtesy of the Matchbox Junior Collectors’ Club!

Matchbox Collectors’ Catalogue 1987/87. Australia.

Matchbox Collectors’ Catalogue 1987/87. Australia.

Official Star Wars Clothing!

We’ll take twenty-four of everything thanks!

The Star Wars Trilogy Special Edition Offers Catalogue. 1997. UK.

Atari Super Cobra Flight Jacket.

Perfect for TVTA’s retrogaming winter weekend parties in our chilly office (we currently have no glass in the windows due to Wooof’s erratic yo-yo skills – see here).

Super Cobra flight Jacket. The Incredible Hulk N°292. 1984. US.


Booey-phooey! We’ve run out of clothing ads, real money, virtual money and time-travel fuel! Time to crash-land to the end of the post and dust ourselves down. Never mind, we’re certain there’ll be other retro fashion posts in the near future. In the meantime we’re off to listen David Bowie’s Fashion while trying on our new duds 🙂

Fashion, turn to the left,
Fashion, turn to the right,
Ooh fashion,
We are the goon squad and we're coming to town,
Beep-beep. (David Bowie. Fashion)

The Ups and Downs of the Cat

“Wooof, please stop jumping up and down on top of the scanner,” I said to the office cat this morning. “Look what you’ve gone and done to our advert for ‘Splash Out’. I’m going to have to scan it again now!”



“It’s not me!” replied the cat. “It’s this new Yo-Yo I bought from the toy shop in town. It seems to have a mind all of it’s own!”

“Yo-Yo you say? That reminds me, I need to scan a couple of Yo-Yo adverts I found in the archives – if you’ve quite finished destroying the office equipment?”

“No worries,” said the cat. “I’ll go practice my Yo-Yo skills in the garden.”

“Not too close to the greenhouse though, eh?”

“Do you think I’m that daft?”

Later … Smash! Tinkle! Shatter! Meeeowwwlll!


1980s Coca-Cola and Fanta Yo-Yos by Russell

In other Up and Down news…
R2-D2 defies gravity, C-3PO keeps his feet on the ground …

Illustration by David Kawami from The Star Wars Question and Answer Book about Space. 1979.

Q: What cool thing happens when you cross a video game icon with bubble gum and pocket money? 
A: The Pac-Man Bubble Gum Money Box! (I so want one of these!)

Hamleys. UK. 1983.

Oops! Putting your foot in it …

Hamleys. UK. 1983.

Nadia and her gymnasium

Ets De Neuter. 1995. France.

Make friends … yes 🙂

Junior Sales Club. 1974

The Whizz Kids Guide, How To books

Star Wars Weekly. UK. 1979.

Big Jim, Big Josh, Big Jack, Dr. Acero

Congost catalogue. 1977. Spain.

Crashback – crushable and expandable vans on command! 

More Fun From Kenner. US. 1997.

XRC by Tonka

More Fun From Kenner. US. 1997.

Here be dragons …

Hamleys. UK. 1983.

That’s all for now vintage mates. I’m off to buy new window panes for the TVTA greenhouse. Wooof’s off to Yo-Yo lessons for cats. See you soon 🙂

 

Predictive text – it’s no picnic

‘Why are you looking so perplexed?’ Wooof asked me this morning during my third cup of coffee.

‘It’s that predictive text thingy,’ I said.

‘Oh?’

‘Well, it never works. For example, I’ve been researching for a big writing piece I’m working on. I tried to enter into my search engine: “Public Inquiries of the Twentieth Century” … and do you know what it predicted?’

‘What?’

‘”Picnic Injuries of the Twentieth Century”, that’s what!’

‘Ha-ha,’ laughed the cat. ‘I suppose that might involve trapped fingers inside hampers, wasp stings, napkin cuts, champagne corks in the eye.’

‘It’s pretty serious stuff when you look into it. Perhaps we ought to warn our readers?’

‘We should,’ agreed the cat. ‘Summer’s only around the corner. Soon there’ll be chequered blankets and condiments everywhere! How are we to keep the good folk of Vintage-land safe?’

‘By launching our very own public service picnic ad campaign!’ I said.

‘Are you serious?’

‘Sometimes.’

‘Alright,’ said the cat. ‘Let’s do it!’


INTRODUCING 

TVTA’s Summertime Safe Picnic Initiative is proudly sponsored by Badgerworth’s Wasp-catcher Kettles and Foxes & Fangles Mind That Bear Exploding Monkeys.



Ask The Family! 

We asked 1960’s Tammy’s family for their top Dos and Don’ts when it comes to enjoying a safe picnic in style.


The right look, the safe look!

Tammy: “It’s important for me to look my best at all times. But when it comes to picnics… skiing, roller skates and archery are huge no-go areas. Don’t be tempted by the latest fads or what your friends might say. It’s just not worth the risk!”

 

Below: Good show Tammy, that’s the safe way to picnic and you still look stylish!


Don’t be a square, daddy-o!

Ted and Dad are taking big risks by wearing such formal and warm attire to the picnic. 27% of picnic fatalities are caused by heat exposure and the rapid onset of mindless delirium. In severe cases the over-heated picnicker may resort to heinous criminal activity. 

Below: That’s better lads!


Stay cool, but never be underdressed!

Blimey Mom, watch out for your skin! More than 32% of picnic fatalities are caused by deadly insects attracted to human flesh. In addition, serious sunburn injuries can occur within just minutes of exposing bare arms and legs on the picnic blanket. Don’t risk it. Cover up sensibly. Mom looks great for a woman her age, let’s keep her that way!


Keep an eye on children at all times!

More than 47% of picnic fatalities arise from children being taken offsite by wild bears, mountain lions, Komodo dragons and in rare cases sharks.

Be seen!

Tammy’s younger sister Pepper says: “When I was very young I had to stay at home during family picnics. Understandable. The risk was too great. Now I’m older I wear the latest, brightest and fashionable clothing so that my family can easily spot me. Bright colours can also act as a deterrent to killer animals. Don’t forget to accessorise with glitter and jewellery to make you really stand out! Visibility coupled with style is key. How else will your family be able to find you as wild creatures drag you screaming into the woods by your bleeding hair follicles and…  

… alright Pepper that’s enough, we get the idea. Stop freaking us out! 

Picnic on dudes!

So dear reader, this summer, be safe, be seen, be stylish, and most importantly enjoy your picnic adventures!

 


Editor’s note: If you would like to find out more about Tammy’s family then please take a look at our excellent Tammy catalogue pages here

And Wooof, please change the site logo back to how it was!

Non-toy ad Tuesday – Valentine Office Cats

St. Valentine’s Day is almost upon us, and it’s right about now Wooof starts receiving in the post more ‘Valentine’ mail than we do adverts and catalogues combined. Honestly, this morning when I arrived at the front door of TVTA Towers I nearly broke an ankle tripping over Wooof’s fan mail. Not that I’m jealous or anything. The last time I received a Valentine card was when I time travelled all the way back to the Romantic Era to pick up a fine tapestry made for me by a most charming and aspiring poet. The tapestry weighed a ton, and sadly it disintegrated upon re-entry to the 21st Century. But it’s the thought that counts.

Wooof asked me to post up some items from his ‘cat collection’ before he departed for three days of Valentine pampering at the Kool Kitty Jazz Spa in town.

Here you go cat lovers… miaou… miaou .!

Theophile Alexandre Steinlen. Collection du Chat Noir. 1898.

Quinquina Dubonnet. Jules Cheret. 1896.

Une Vie De Chat / A Cat’s Life (A cat in Paris). Japan. 2012.

Une Vie De Chat (reverse)

The Celtic Animal Oracle. Franklin and Mason. 2003. Vega.

Lisette. 1946. France.

Cat Fancy. Feb 2015.

Cat Fancy. Feb 2015.

Les Aventuriers du Micromonde. Pif Gadget. 1982.

Sunday Pictorial. 1926. UK.

Film Review. 1979. UK.

The lack of sleep of the cat

No work for three whole days! Yippee Wooof, it is Tuesday, right? Absotiffily, replied the cat, who was returning, somewhat bleary-eyed, from all an all-nighter down in the archives. Armed with empty cartons of Are-You-Feline-Fine-Cat-Fuel, Miow-Miow-Nitro-biscuits and a dozen or so vintage adverts, the poor mog looked absolutely exhausted!

You’re working too hard, you should take a day off, I told him, like me. Not until we get these latest ads scanned, replied the cat. We’ve got deadlines, didn’t ya know.

Me: Yes, and you have crows feet, and more bags under your eyes than the Eye of Horus coming out of Sainsbury’s on a Saturday morning! Now give me those ads and go and grab some zeds. I’ll do the scanning today.

Wooof: If you’re sure?

Me: So long as there are no clown ads I’m good.

Wooof: Nope, no clown ads today.

Me: Positive?

Wooof: Positive. Jings, sonny, when are you going to get over this ridiculous fear of clowns?

Me: I’m trying, Wooof, I’m trying. Now, donc, alors, allez, au lit… bonne nuit!

Righto, said the cat, on my way! Oh, and by the way, it’s not Tuesday, it’s Wednesday…

Too late. Cue sounds of scanner….

Whirr… whirr… click…

Whirr… whirr… click…

Whirr… whirr… click…

Whirr… whirr…

Whirr…

Woooooooooffffffffff!!!”


In today’s Non-toy ad Tuesday non-Tuesday non-sleep blog post, we get all bubblegummed-up with Malabar and Bazooka. We get snappy with Kodak and Polaroid cameras, quench our thirst with sporty-themed drinks, brush our teeth with Colgate, discover that in Danish Kaptajn Knas cereals is Cap’n Crunch cereals, and Peter Plys is Winnie-the-Pooh, and lastly we get busy with the fizzy SodaStream!

Malabar Bubblegum

France. Pif Gadget. 1983.

France. Pif Gadget. 1983.

France. Pif Gadget. 1978.

Polaroid Instant 10 Camera

France. Pif Gadget. 1978.

Kodak camera

Denmark. Anders And & Co. 1983.

Colgate

Denmark. Anders And & Co. 1983.

Sporty-themed Drinks

Denmark. 1988.

France. Pif Gadget. 1977.

Kaptajn Knas is Cap’n Crunch in Denmark

Denmark. Anders And & Co. 1987.

Peter Plys is Winnie-the-Pooh in Denmark

Denmark. Anders And & Co. 1981.

SodaStream

Denmark. Anders And & Co. 1981.

Denmark. 1980.

Thank you for bypassing clowns with us 🙂