TVTA’s top twenty international crunchy tasty vintage cereal killer breakfast snack ads – with milk! Plus, half a million site views!!

Kelloggs Choko Crunch. Denmark. 1988.

Time to snap, crackle and pop with TVTA as we celebrate half a million site views!

Half a million site views? Pas mal.  

Yes, since 2011 here at WordPress, the site has moved in all the right places I wanted it to, and it’s a pleasure to see so many daily visitors come check out the 4k+ images I’ve steadily been adding to the archives, along with the visits and interaction from my good blogging buddies (you know who you are and you know I love you 😍)

Here’s the screen shot I took the other day showing the magic number:

 

So, a BIG thanks to all my vintage mates and visitors, and remember – if it’s not TVTA then it’s probably something else! 

Cereal-y speaking…

Dear vintage mates, is your office cat addicted to cereals? Is your monthly procurement budget being constantly blown on Cheerios and Cornflakes? Are you finding empty boxes of bran flakes hidden behind the office scanner?

You would think a cat might be content with just milk, yes? Bah. Not TVTA’s intrepid office cat Wooof!

Read on to discover what happened on that fatal day during breakfast; a deadly tale of cereal overdose and fancy dress costume parties gone mad!

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TVTA’s Soft Drinks Top Ten Hyper Wild Ads

Gulp! Hic! Dammit, I really enjoyed that thirst-quenching can of ice cold Coke I cracked open at work during my break the other day.

So let’s hear it for soft drinks, fizzy pop, soda… and TVTA’s Top Ten list featuring print ads from Denmark, UK, Brazil, and France…

But watch out for getting too hyper on that fizzy stuff, and dangerous animals too!

42% of wild animal attacks are caused by carbonated drink overuse. The animal kingdom and soda should never mix!


N°10 – Schwip-Schwap

Schwip Schwap. 1978. Denmark.

Let’s get high… high as a giraffe, with Danish orange-cola beverage Schwip Schwap… the sound you might actually hear as a 45 centimetre prehensile tongue slaps you around the face, if you’re ever foolish enough to get that close to a giraffe that is.


N°9 – 7 UP

7 Up. 1977. Denmark.

Staying high. A 7Up advert so psychedelic you need to consume forty litres of the stuff to imagine such a scene. Roughly translated, this Danish ad encourages us to: “Take a fresh one. It helps.” 

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Top ten toys that are freaking me out right now

Baby Face dolls. Galoob. 1992.

Hello, vintage mates. I’m nowhere near the stage of the definitions below, but lately some of my toy ads are freaking me out!

Pediophobia or “the fear of dolls” is a specific type of phobia characterized by irrational and intense fear or worry of dolls. Pediophobia is closely related to Automatonophobia.

Automatonophobia – morbid fear of ventriloquist’s dummies, animatronic creatures, wax statues or any inanimate object that simulates a sentient being.

I don’t know, maybe it’s just me… but am I the only one to feel disturbed by this plush bunny sitting at the edge of a pond?

Bunny Long Legs. 1983.

And how about this Dancing Sailor Doll… 100% guaranteed to pick a fight with you, even if you agree with him!

DANCING SAILOR, clockwork tinplate sailor in cloth uniform, by Lehmann, circa 1912.

Maybe it is me.

Maybe not.

Anyway, I’m not taking any chances, and neither should you!

Be warned…

Here is my top ten toy adverts that freak me out lately…

#10 – Thumbelina Dolls 

Tiny terrors. The kind of dolls you might find hiding in small boxes, your purse, or when you open the fridge – sat next to the milk and yoghurt. No!

Thumbelina dolls. 1972. Ideal.

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TVTA’s top thirteen horror movie taglines

To help entice an audience to the cinema, a horror film is going to require a striking and memorable poster. Not only that, it’s going to need a killer tagline which will aim to leave potential viewers wanting to know more.

Did you know that some films have used multiple taglines? For example, our opening entry – the 1971 Vincent Price horror The Abominable Dr. Phibes had eight different taglines across its various releases. Gremlins (1984) had nine. Hitchcock’s Psycho (1960) had thirteen!

These multiple variations usually appear on special or later re-releases and can become more creative as time passes. Sometimes a tagline can be creative in enticing viewers by drawing simply on the reputation of its director, writer or producers (e.g., “From the director of…” or “From the team who brought you…” or “Based on the book by…”). And let’s not forget about the creativity required for foreign market translations – a whole new post probably!

Below is TVTA’s top thirteen horror movie taglines; our very own dastardly countdown of some of the best horror slogans ever.


13.
“Love means never having to say you’re ugly!”
The Abominable Dr. Phibes. 1971.


12.
“Six men. Full moon. No chance.”
Dog Soldiers. 2002.

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Top 10 non-medical doctors in pop culture who might be able to aid you in an urgent medical situation

The pitch: You are in the jungle, slowly bleeding to death. Your left leg needs amputating. You have been stung multiple times by angry hornets. You have been partially mauled to death by a black panther. Bitten by a venomous snake. Vultures are circling overhead. The beast of the jungle – a 60 foot Megaprimatus ape – is waiting for nightfall to finish you off!

Short of a miracle, you are completely fu^@*d! Luckily there are ten doctors who might be able to aid you. Problem is, none of them are medical doctors! Nevertheless, each one possesses certain skills, powers and motivations which may help save your life… or not!!

Let’s rate your chances…

N°1. Dr Pepper

Dr. Pepper, so misunderstood. The Dying You: “I understand you are a can of carbonated soft drink?” Dr. Pepper: “You misunderstand me, I am actually a tin robot full of medicine.” The Dying You: “Thank goodness, any chance you can save my life?” Dr. Pepper: “No, I am lying, I really am a can of carbonated soft drink.” The Dying You: “Curse you Dr. Pepper!!” Dr. Pepper: “Muhuhuhahahaha!”.

Quite obviously you are hallucinating from your injuries, and are conversing with a can of carbonated soft drink. Dr. Pepper is unable to aid you. Chances of survival: 0%  

 

Dr Pepper advert, 1947. Image Wikipedia


N°2. Dr. Phibes

Dr. Anton Phibes is a famous concert organist and expert of music, who was thought to have died in a car crash while racing to visit his wife, Victoria, who was having emergency surgery. Phibes survived the crash, but was horribly disfigured and left unable to speak. After learning of Victoria’s death, Phibes went into hiding and developed an evil revenge plan to kill the incompetent surgeons he believed were guilty of Victoria’s death.

It is highly unlikely that the seriously unhinged Dr. Phibes will aid you in any way whatsoever, unless you happen to resemble his beloved Victoria, or are able to seduce him with a vast, musical knowledge you probably don’t possess. Chances of survival: 2%

The Abominable Dr. Phibes. 1971. Movie Time DVD.


N°3. Doctor Octopus

Save your life? Unlikely. This Marvel supervillain is more likely to baffle your brain with his knowledge of atomic physics, before battering you with one of his four electrically powered, prehensile, tentacle arms. Chances of survival: 8%

Doctor Octopus. Top Trumps.

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