Category Archives: Wooof

Everything but the kitchen sink

Wooof just gave me his Hello Kitty USB stick and said: “Latest ads all scanned boss, post ’em up, I’m off to Italy for the weekend.” “What kind of ads are they?” I asked the cat. “Oh, a bit of this, a bit of that. Everything but the kitchen sink really.” “And how am I supposed to put a theme to them?” I said. “There are categories and tags and witty comments to consider. We can’t all go swanning off to Italy you know.” “How should I know,” replied the cat, already packing his case and searching for his Aviators. “You’re the editor. Just call the post ‘Everything But The Kitchen Sink’, or something.” “Righto,” I said. “Ha, be funny if there really was a kitchen sink ad on your USB stick.” The cat looked at me and sighed. “That would be just ridiculous. Right, I’m off. Plane to catch. Don’t work too hard this weekend. Miow and ciao baby!”

Bye Wooof.

Door slams.

Cue one inserted Hello Kitty USB stick into the TVTA hard drive, and I present, a mixed bag of retro adverts, everything but the kitchen sink…

First up … Nice going Wooof … you found some Sony Walkman ads …

France. Ets De Neuter catalogue. 1995.

France. Ets de Neuter catalogue. 1995.

Next … Bubble Yum bubble gum wild cherry goodness … 

US. Weird War Tales. 1980.

Next … Cool, 2000 AD and Judge Dredd badges …

2000 AD. Prog 333. 1983.

Marvel and DC comics action figures …

UK. Wizard. 2008.

Some Transformers …

France. Catalogue Super Jouet. 1985.

Erm … A Kerrang! Keep it loud! badge. I remember wearing that …

Next … Bravo Wooof … it’s the Armand Zildjian 19 inch ride … drool … I ride with a vintage 20 inch Zildjian Ping, but still … drool!

UK. Z-Time. 2004.

Well done Wooof, you found more Zildjian ads …

UK. Z-Time. 2004.

The Clone Wars … Marbs …

UK. Wizard. 2008.

Zarjaz! Return of the Jedi free album and stickers with 2000 AD …

UK. 2000 AD. 1983.

Acme boots, it’s the saga of Johnny West …

US. Weird War Tales. 1980.

And finally … lol! … Wooof was tricking us all along … there really is an ad for a kitchen sink …

France. Jouet Mont Blanc catalogue. 1969.

That’s all for now folks. Thanks for stopping by. Please wash your dishes on the way out  🙂

Non-toy ad Tuesday – Valentine Office Cats

St. Valentine’s Day is almost upon us, and it’s right about now Wooof starts receiving in the post more ‘Valentine’ mail than we do adverts and catalogues combined. Honestly, this morning when I arrived at the front door of TVTA Towers I nearly broke an ankle tripping over Wooof’s fan mail. Not that I’m jealous or anything. The last time I received a Valentine card was when I time travelled all the way back to the Romantic Era to pick up a fine tapestry made for me by a most charming and aspiring poet. The tapestry weighed a ton, and sadly it disintegrated upon re-entry to the 21st Century. But it’s the thought that counts.

Wooof asked me to post up some items from his ‘cat collection’ before he departed for three days of Valentine pampering at the Kool Kitty Jazz Spa in town.

Here you go cat lovers… miaou… miaou .!

Theophile Alexandre Steinlen. Collection du Chat Noir. 1898.

Quinquina Dubonnet. Jules Cheret. 1896.

Une Vie De Chat / A Cat’s Life (A cat in Paris). Japan. 2012.

Une Vie De Chat (reverse)

The Celtic Animal Oracle. Franklin and Mason. 2003. Vega.

Lisette. 1946. France.

Cat Fancy. Feb 2015.

Cat Fancy. Feb 2015.

Les Aventuriers du Micromonde. Pif Gadget. 1982.

Sunday Pictorial. 1926. UK.

Film Review. 1979. UK.

The lack of sleep of the cat

No work for three whole days! Yippee Wooof, it is Tuesday, right? Absotiffily, replied the cat, who was returning, somewhat bleary-eyed, from all an all-nighter down in the archives. Armed with empty cartons of Are-You-Feline-Fine-Cat-Fuel, Miow-Miow-Nitro-biscuits and a dozen or so vintage adverts, the poor mog looked absolutely exhausted!

You’re working too hard, you should take a day off, I told him, like me. Not until we get these latest ads scanned, replied the cat. We’ve got deadlines, didn’t ya know.

Me: Yes, and you have crows feet, and more bags under your eyes than the Eye of Horus coming out of Sainsbury’s on a Saturday morning! Now give me those ads and go and grab some zeds. I’ll do the scanning today.

Wooof: If you’re sure?

Me: So long as there are no clown ads I’m good.

Wooof: Nope, no clown ads today.

Me: Positive?

Wooof: Positive. Jings, sonny, when are you going to get over this ridiculous fear of clowns?

Me: I’m trying, Wooof, I’m trying. Now, donc, alors, allez, au lit… bonne nuit!

Righto, said the cat, on my way! Oh, and by the way, it’s not Tuesday, it’s Wednesday…

Too late. Cue sounds of scanner….

Whirr… whirr… click…

Whirr… whirr… click…

Whirr… whirr… click…

Whirr… whirr…



In today’s Non-toy ad Tuesday non-Tuesday non-sleep blog post, we get all bubblegummed-up with Malabar and Bazooka. We get snappy with Kodak and Polaroid cameras, quench our thirst with sporty-themed drinks, brush our teeth with Colgate, discover that in Danish Kaptajn Knas cereals is Cap’n Crunch cereals, and Peter Plys is Winnie-the-Pooh, and lastly we get busy with the fizzy SodaStream!

Malabar Bubblegum

France. Pif Gadget. 1983.

France. Pif Gadget. 1983.

France. Pif Gadget. 1978.

Polaroid Instant 10 Camera

France. Pif Gadget. 1978.

Kodak camera

Denmark. Anders And & Co. 1983.


Denmark. Anders And & Co. 1983.

Sporty-themed Drinks

Denmark. 1988.

France. Pif Gadget. 1977.

Kaptajn Knas is Cap’n Crunch in Denmark

Denmark. Anders And & Co. 1987.

Peter Plys is Winnie-the-Pooh in Denmark

Denmark. Anders And & Co. 1981.


Denmark. Anders And & Co. 1981.

Denmark. 1980.

Thank you for bypassing clowns with us 🙂

TVTA means…

2017 in review. Bolt by bolt.

Wooof and I like to celebrate our small achievements here at TVTA. In 2017 we gained more than 2.5 million followers, 2 billion likes, received numerous nominations such as the Lobster Award, the Good Morning I’m Hungry Award, the Time Travelling Companions of Gannow Award, the Friendly Blogger Looking to Borrow A Few Bucks Award, the Sunshine And Scattered Showers Award, and we were also Freshly Parsed 42 times!

Why, that’s enough achievements to be able to view the Great Wall of China from space with a pair of 1980s dinosaur explorer toy binoculars, cold enough to freeze penguins to a lampost, and loud enough to distract excitable puppies when used in conjunction with a sonic dog whistle and My Little Kitty glove puppet!

So what does it all mean, this TVTA thing? And do we have adverts for it?

Well, a quick browse on the interweb reveals that TVTA actually means… Threat and Vulnerablity Testing and Assessment

TVTA also means… Thermal Vacuum Test Article

and TVTA also means … Technical and Vocational Training Act

and Triple Vaginal Triple Anal … WOAH! Stop right there Wooof!

Where the heck did that one come from?

This is a family-friendly blog showcasing vintage toys!

Suffice to say, there is no mention of our humble blog anywhere in acronym land, so Wooof has been frantically retro-adding TVTA to the tags of all our old posts like a cat out of hell!

Go Wooof, you fantastic cat you!

And now, the TVTA 2017 awards sponsored by Stephen Spookberg’s Speak and Spell Time Machine Soda-Stream Maker (includes FREE collectable ‘owls of the world’ and ‘dragon botherer’ cigarette cards while stocks last) …

Our best missing item from 2017: Has anyone seen our Elizabethan tape machine?

Has anyone seen our Elizabethan tape machine? We seem to have misplaced it the last time we time travelled to 1955. If you find it, please return it to our usual address at TVTA Towers, France, Earth. Thanks in advance!

The 2017 Conquering Our Ridiculous Fear Of Clowns Award

We thought we were doing great. The hypnotherapy sessions had been positive. The yoga was beneficial. We were no longer afraid to leave the office. And Wooof was off the meds. Then these two paperworks landed on our desk yesterday, and now we’re right back where we started. Gah!

The 2017 TVTA Best Fashion Statement Award: Cheese tee-shirts

The 2017 TVTA Best Unfortunately-Named Throat Pastel Award

The 2017 TVTA Best Hulk Recreation And Leisure Award

The TVTA Best Adverts Of 2017 Award

Thanks for coming to the awards! Sincere thanks to everyone who has read TVTA this past year. May 2018 be a happy and fruitful year for you and yours 🙂

Non-toy ad Tuesday: music and meetings

Wooof and I just got back from the International Retro Editor & Cat Conference in Oslo. Ha, what a bunch of losers those editors and cats are! Just look at this photo we took –

Oh… wait, what’s that Wooof? You mean that photo is actually us … at the TVTA editorial staff meeting from last November? Wow, we look so strung out. Must get vitamins and haircuts!

So, Wooof, remind me, what is the subject of our latest Non-toy ad Tuesday article?

That’s right, it’s music!

We’ll be looking at French goodies such as a 1983 cover of Rock & BD magazine … a prize competition to put words into James Brown’s mouth! … adverts for the Body Rap, Miles Davis, U2 … and there’s also some Danish treats with Mr Music cassettes, Ga-jol throat lozenges, and a 1969 Disney competition to win a Philips stereo!

Enjoy, while we go get a haircut and straighten out!

France. Rock & BD Associated. 1983.

Polydor and Rigolo magazine prize competition to win James Brown album reissues. Question 2 asks you to imagine the Godfather of soul’s reaction when faced with these magnificent Polydor reissues! France. Rigolo. 1983.

France. Cora. 1988.

France. Rock & BD Associated. 1983.

France. Rock & BD Associated. 1983.

France. Rigolo. 1983.

Denmark. 1988.

Denmark. 1988.

Denmark. 1988.

Denmark. 1969.

See you again soon for another Non-toy ad Tuesday!


Happy birthday to the editor, and RIP Harry Dean Stanton

Oh Leia! The princess perils of partying!

It’s my birthday today and I’m a little hungover – not from partying you understand; yesterday I worked my third eleven-hour shift in a row, and then spent five hours working on my novel way into the wee hours (Way Into the Wee Hours is not the title of it by the way). Apologies for any splelling errors – I will never proof read this, ever, and our sub editor long ago eloped to Scotland with the photocopier repair guy. Ah, I love an office romance. Apologies too if the following ads make little sense, but then things don’t always make sense at TVTA, which is absolutely fine, according to Wooof.

The day started off with some nice pressies and cards, but also with the sad news that actor Harry Dean Stanton died. I absolutely love his work with David Lynch, and also his roles in Alien and Pretty in Pink. RIP man!

Alas, there’s nothing in the TVTA archives to represent Harry Dean, other than this cool Japanese Chirashi of Alien in which HD played the character Brett.

In other hungover vintage news…

Feeling scummy? Then you will need Skummy bar! Excellent for long days and late nights, and a guranteed Dolphin to drag you merrrilly into Christmas!

For that lingering hungover feeling…

Try Trill.

Seems to work for budgies! (Please stand on your head to view pic correctly).

Works for Harvey too!

Rufus! Get ootay ma heed! The last thing you need when hungover is a skateboarding cheese with a turd-shaped hairstyle zooming around in your head!


TVTA is most definitely going to try and find one of these at the next flea market we go to, and turn it into a time machine! And our first stop? 1967…

We will party like it’s 1967!!

Thanks for looking. Happy birthday everyone around the world!