Category Archives: Wooof

The Ups and Downs of the Cat

“Wooof, please stop jumping up and down on top of the scanner,” I said to the office cat this morning. “Look what you’ve gone and done to our advert for ‘Splash Out’. I’m going to have to scan it again now!”



“It’s not me!” replied the cat. “It’s this new Yo-Yo I bought from the toy shop in town. It seems to have a mind all of it’s own!”

“Yo-Yo you say? That reminds me, I need to scan a couple of Yo-Yo adverts I found in the archives – if you’ve quite finished destroying the office equipment?”

“No worries,” said the cat. “I’ll go practice my Yo-Yo skills in the garden.”

“Not too close to the greenhouse though, eh?”

“Do you think I’m that daft?”

Later … Smash! Tinkle! Shatter! Meeeowwwlll!


1980s Coca-Cola and Fanta Yo-Yos by Russell

In other Up and Down news…
R2-D2 defies gravity, C-3PO keeps his feet on the ground …

Illustration by David Kawami from The Star Wars Question and Answer Book about Space. 1979.

Q: What cool thing happens when you cross a video game icon with bubble gum and pocket money? 
A: The Pac-Man Bubble Gum Money Box! (I so want one of these!)

Hamleys. UK. 1983.

Oops! Putting your foot in it …

Hamleys. UK. 1983.

Nadia and her gymnasium

Ets De Neuter. 1995. France.

Make friends … yes 🙂

Junior Sales Club. 1974

The Whizz Kids Guide, How To books

Star Wars Weekly. UK. 1979.

Big Jim, Big Josh, Big Jack, Dr. Acero

Congost catalogue. 1977. Spain.

Crashback – crushable and expandable vans on command! 

More Fun From Kenner. US. 1997.

XRC by Tonka

More Fun From Kenner. US. 1997.

Here be dragons …

Hamleys. UK. 1983.

That’s all for now vintage mates. I’m off to buy new window panes for the TVTA greenhouse. Wooof’s off to Yo-Yo lessons for cats. See you soon 🙂

 

Predictive text – it’s no picnic

‘Why are you looking so perplexed?’ Wooof asked me this morning during my third cup of coffee.

‘It’s that predictive text thingy,’ I said.

‘Oh?’

‘Well, it never works. For example, I’ve been researching for a big writing piece I’m working on. I tried to enter into my search engine: “Public Inquiries of the Twentieth Century” … and do you know what it predicted?’

‘What?’

‘”Picnic Injuries of the Twentieth Century”, that’s what!’

‘Ha-ha,’ laughed the cat. ‘I suppose that might involve trapped fingers inside hampers, wasp stings, napkin cuts, champagne corks in the eye.’

‘It’s pretty serious stuff when you look into it. Perhaps we ought to warn our readers?’

‘We should,’ agreed the cat. ‘Summer’s only around the corner. Soon there’ll be chequered blankets and condiments everywhere! How are we to keep the good folk of Vintage-land safe?’

‘By launching our very own public service picnic ad campaign!’ I said.

‘Are you serious?’

‘Sometimes.’

‘Alright,’ said the cat. ‘Let’s do it!’


INTRODUCING 

TVTA’s Summertime Safe Picnic Initiative is proudly sponsored by Badgerworth’s Wasp-catcher Kettles and Foxes & Fangles Mind That Bear Exploding Monkeys.



Ask The Family! 

We asked 1960’s Tammy’s family for their top Dos and Don’ts when it comes to enjoying a safe picnic in style.


The right look, the safe look!

Tammy: “It’s important for me to look my best at all times. But when it comes to picnics… skiing, roller skates and archery are huge no-go areas. Don’t be tempted by the latest fads or what your friends might say. It’s just not worth the risk!”

 

Below: Good show Tammy, that’s the safe way to picnic and you still look stylish!


Don’t be a square, daddy-o!

Ted and Dad are taking big risks by wearing such formal and warm attire to the picnic. 27% of picnic fatalities are caused by heat exposure and the rapid onset of mindless delirium. In severe cases the over-heated picnicker may resort to heinous criminal activity. 

Below: That’s better lads!


Stay cool, but never be underdressed!

Blimey Mom, watch out for your skin! More than 32% of picnic fatalities are caused by deadly insects attracted to human flesh. In addition, serious sunburn injuries can occur within just minutes of exposing bare arms and legs on the picnic blanket. Don’t risk it. Cover up sensibly. Mom looks great for a woman her age, let’s keep her that way!


Keep an eye on children at all times!

More than 47% of picnic fatalities arise from children being taken offsite by wild bears, mountain lions, Komodo dragons and in rare cases sharks.

Be seen!

Tammy’s younger sister Pepper says: “When I was very young I had to stay at home during family picnics. Understandable. The risk was too great. Now I’m older I wear the latest, brightest and fashionable clothing so that my family can easily spot me. Bright colours can also act as a deterrent to killer animals. Don’t forget to accessorise with glitter and jewellery to make you really stand out! Visibility coupled with style is key. How else will your family be able to find you as wild creatures drag you screaming into the woods by your bleeding hair follicles and…  

… alright Pepper that’s enough, we get the idea. Stop freaking us out! 

Picnic on dudes!

So dear reader, this summer, be safe, be seen, be stylish, and most importantly enjoy your picnic adventures!

 


Editor’s note: If you would like to find out more about Tammy’s family then please take a look at our excellent Tammy catalogue pages here

And Wooof, please change the site logo back to how it was!

Etch A Sketch

An original boxed French-produced Etch A Sketch marketed as Télécran in France, the country in which it was invented.

The linographic drawing toy Etch A Sketch was invented by André Cassagnes and marketed as Télécran in France. The mechanical drawing board is instantly recognisable with its plastic red frame and two white knobs. The knobs are turned by hand to control a vertical and horizontal stylus across an aluminium powder-coated surface which creates solid lines on the screen.

Classic toy

Etch A Sketch has proved an immensely popular toy throughout the 1960s to present times, winning numerous awards like the ‘Toy Oscars’, induction into the ‘National Toy Hall of Fame’, the ‘Century of Toys List’, recommendations by the French Ministry of Education, and character roles in all three Toy Story movies.

Suitable for office cats?

You bet. I asked Wooof to test out our 1980s French version. Several hours’ later and three spent boxes of Catbizkit Chowbars, here are the stunning results, straight from the cat!


Adverts

Etch A Sketch catalogue entry. Ets De Neuter. 1995. France.


Etch A Sketch catalogue entry. Trampline. 1980. France.


The Toy Story films

Disney Pixar.

Disney Pixar

 


How does Etch A Sketch work?

Basic mechanism of operating a 2-dimensional plotter. All of the numbered components correspond to those which move the plotter’s stylus horizontally, and the lettered components with those which move it vertically. Device consists of a series of 10 pulleys, 6 cables, 2 rails, and a stylus. 
The toy is a kind of plotter. The inside surface of the glass screen is coated with aluminium powder, which is then scraped off by a movable stylus, leaving a dark line on the light gray screen. The stylus is controlled by the two large knobs, one of which moves it vertically and the other horizontally. Turning both knobs simultaneously makes diagonal lines. To erase the picture, the user turns the toy upside down and shakes it. Doing this causes polystyrene beads to smooth out and re-coat the inside surface of the screen with aluminum powder. The “black” line merely exposes the darkness inside the toy. Filling in large “black” areas allows enough light through to expose parts of the interior. – Author: K.D. Schroeder – graphic name.svg from Wikimedia Commons – License: CC-BY-SA 3.0


That’s all for now Etcher-sketchers, thanks for getting doodly with us 🙂

Everything but the kitchen sink

Wooof just gave me his Hello Kitty USB stick and said: “Latest ads all scanned boss, post ’em up, I’m off to Italy for the weekend.” “What kind of ads are they?” I asked the cat. “Oh, a bit of this, a bit of that. Everything but the kitchen sink really.” “And how am I supposed to put a theme to them?” I said. “There are categories and tags and witty comments to consider. We can’t all go swanning off to Italy you know.” “How should I know,” replied the cat, already packing his case and searching for his Aviators. “You’re the editor. Just call the post ‘Everything But The Kitchen Sink’, or something.” “Righto,” I said. “Ha, be funny if there really was a kitchen sink ad on your USB stick.” The cat looked at me and sighed. “That would be just ridiculous. Right, I’m off. Plane to catch. Don’t work too hard this weekend. Miow and ciao baby!”

Bye Wooof.

Door slams.

Cue one inserted Hello Kitty USB stick into the TVTA hard drive, and I present, a mixed bag of retro adverts, everything but the kitchen sink…


First up … Nice going Wooof … you found some Sony Walkman ads …

France. Ets De Neuter catalogue. 1995.

France. Ets de Neuter catalogue. 1995.

Next … Bubble Yum bubble gum wild cherry goodness … 

US. Weird War Tales. 1980.

Next … Cool, 2000 AD and Judge Dredd badges …

2000 AD. Prog 333. 1983.

Marvel and DC comics action figures …

UK. Wizard. 2008.

Some Transformers …

France. Catalogue Super Jouet. 1985.

Erm … A Kerrang! Keep it loud! badge. I remember wearing that …

Next … Bravo Wooof … it’s the Armand Zildjian 19 inch ride … drool … I ride with a vintage 20 inch Zildjian Ping, but still … drool!

UK. Z-Time. 2004.

Well done Wooof, you found more Zildjian ads …

UK. Z-Time. 2004.

The Clone Wars … Marbs …

UK. Wizard. 2008.

Zarjaz! Return of the Jedi free album and stickers with 2000 AD …

UK. 2000 AD. 1983.

Acme boots, it’s the saga of Johnny West …

US. Weird War Tales. 1980.

And finally … lol! … Wooof was tricking us all along … there really is an ad for a kitchen sink …

France. Jouet Mont Blanc catalogue. 1969.

That’s all for now folks. Thanks for stopping by. Please wash your dishes on the way out  🙂

Non-toy ad Tuesday – Valentine Office Cats

St. Valentine’s Day is almost upon us, and it’s right about now Wooof starts receiving in the post more ‘Valentine’ mail than we do adverts and catalogues combined. Honestly, this morning when I arrived at the front door of TVTA Towers I nearly broke an ankle tripping over Wooof’s fan mail. Not that I’m jealous or anything. The last time I received a Valentine card was when I time travelled all the way back to the Romantic Era to pick up a fine tapestry made for me by a most charming and aspiring poet. The tapestry weighed a ton, and sadly it disintegrated upon re-entry to the 21st Century. But it’s the thought that counts.

Wooof asked me to post up some items from his ‘cat collection’ before he departed for three days of Valentine pampering at the Kool Kitty Jazz Spa in town.

Here you go cat lovers… miaou… miaou .!

Theophile Alexandre Steinlen. Collection du Chat Noir. 1898.

Quinquina Dubonnet. Jules Cheret. 1896.

Une Vie De Chat / A Cat’s Life (A cat in Paris). Japan. 2012.

Une Vie De Chat (reverse)

The Celtic Animal Oracle. Franklin and Mason. 2003. Vega.

Lisette. 1946. France.

Cat Fancy. Feb 2015.

Cat Fancy. Feb 2015.

Les Aventuriers du Micromonde. Pif Gadget. 1982.

Sunday Pictorial. 1926. UK.

Film Review. 1979. UK.