Tag Archives: nonsense

Ron Wing to rule them all

US. Creepy Mag. 1980.

Wooof just came flying into the scanning room in a state of panic.

“What’s the trouble?” I said.

“I accidently messed up the settings on our new time machine,” replied the cat. “We have less than six minutes before time splits into two, erases our recent posts, and the bailiffs come to take our scanner! In addition to this, we’ll be talking in spoonerisms and nonsense.”

“Bloody hell Wooof,” I said. “We already talk enough nonsense at The Vintage Toy Advertiser as it is. And may I remind you, the last time this happened we ended up crashing into the darkside of Planet Jupiter!”

“Stop moaning,” said the cat. “And post up the ads!”

INSERT TIME TRAVEL NOISE HERE: Whooooooooshhhhhhhh…

(six minutes later)

Wooof just came skying into the flanning room in a plate of static.

“Trots the wubble?” I said.

“I maccidently assed up the settings on our new wine machine,” replied the cat. “We have less than six biscuits before time tits into sploo, erases our decent roasts, and the bailiffs come to bake our spanner! In addition to this, we’ll be talking in noonerisms and sponsense.”

“Hoody bell Wooof!” I said. “We already talk enough nonsense at The Toasted Sandwich Advertiser as it is. And ray I me-mind you, the last time this happened we ended up crashing into the backside of Janet Plutiter!”

“Mop stoning,” said the cat. “And toast up the pads!”


TVTA is proud to present a tantalising mixed-up time treat of inflatable bunnies, scarecrows, rollerskates, kangaRoos, monsters and spooks, and more inflatables!

Playmates Bunnies. Ideal Toys catalogue. 1972. UK.


Scarecrow Target Set. Ideal Toys catalogue. 1972. UK.


Lundi rollerskates. Denmark. 1980.


Pop Wheels. Italy. Topolino. 1978.


Gioca rollerskates. Topolono. Italy. 1978


KangaRoos. Denmark.


KangaRoos. Denmark.


Monsters and Spooks model kits. Airfix catalogue. 1984. UK.


Slim Jim. Jonah Hex. 1978. US.


US. 1976.


US. 1976.


Feel the love or feel the pain? Elastic Man and Elastic Monstre get stretchy. France. 1978.


Playmate’s Disney characters. Ideal Toys catalogue. 1972. UK.


Tom and Jerry Playmates inflatables. UK. Ideal catalogue. 1972.

Non-toy ad Tuesday: office cats and the munchies

“Be careful of what you put into your mouth.”

Interplanetary Federation Supermarket Customer Advice Proverb.

A TVTA Food, Drink and Snack special report!

Most office cats are content to work the bare minimum – catch mice, make tea, answer the phone, that type of thing. Not so Wooof… TVTA’s faithful feline has just spent the past three weeks down in the archives searching for vintage adverts and other retro paperwork goodies!

Any luck? I asked him as he emerged from the basement dressed in dust, cobwebs and, bizarrely, a 1980 R2-D2 Thermal Underoos set.

Yes, replied the cat, I have enough ads to keep us busy the whole of the summer. He showed me the tartan suitcase which he had lugged up the stairs. I opened it. It was full of vintage adverts. Excellent.

There are no clown adverts are there? I asked him.

Goodness, no, replied the cat.

Only, the last time we made a Non-toy ad Tuesday post, I seem to recall some very disturbing images of clowns and other odd stuff.

Don’t worry, said Wooof. It’s completely clown-free. I’ve checked. There’s nothing odd at all. Just perfectly normal food, drink and snack adverts.

You’re not lying?

I’m not lying. Now get scanning. We’ve deadlines to meet!

Righto, I replied.

——  ——  ——  ——   ——   ——

Cue sounds of scanner…

 

sounds like…

 

Stur stur smag!

 

Stur stur smag!

 

Stur stur smag!

 

 

Denmark. 1983.


In other disturbing news,

TV Cereal Killer caught on film.

Denmark. 1988.


Salty Spunk liquorice lozenges hit the streets…

Denmark. 1977.


Victory V. Suck it and see.

UK. Running. 1986.


Superman action strip colouring contest with Trebor chews.

UK. Star Wars Weekly. 1979.


Snit dig en Cool burger!

Denmark. 1984.


Philips kitchenware 1980s style!

UK. Mobil Gifts Catalogue. 1986.


Frisk! Stimorol chewing gum.

Denmark. Anders And & Co. 1986.

Frisk! 80s!

Denmark. 1984.


M&M’s. The milk chocolate melts in your mouth not in your hands.

US. X Factor, 1987.

US. Legion of Superheroes. 1984.


Tonimalt. French malt drink favourite with Ulysse 31 (Ulysses 31) promotion.

France. Journal de Mickey. 1983.


Another gloriously nonsensical Hostess Superhero ad! This one’s going straight into the collection Hostess Superhero ads

US. 1976.


Weetabix

UK. Prima. 1987.


Tom and Jerry get licked!

Denmark. 1983.


So eighties!

Denmark. 1988.


Soft drinks galore!

1. Fanta. Denmark. 1978.

Fast forward a couple of decades later…

Absolutely Fabulous. BBC.co.uk/abfab.


2. 7UP. Denmark. 1977.

3. Coke. UK. 1979.

4. Pepsi-Cola. Denmark. 1978.

And finally, we end this post with a giraffe. It’s not often we can say that. Or this…

5. Schwip Schwap!


If you are interested in learning more about food, drink and snacks then why not visit your local supermarket where many examples can be viewed free by the public. Don’t forget to take along your pencils and a sketch pad in case you wish to make notes and illustrations for your school project. Or why not ask the supermarket manager if you can snap a few photographs! He or she will only be too happy to oblige and may even throw in a few treats for you to take home to your parents. This post has been brought to you by TVTA and the Interplanetary Federation Supermarket Customer Advice Bureau. Best before Feb 2223. This is a free-range post and no animals were harmed. Just Ewoks. Recycle the carton when finished. Enjoy responsibly.