666 screwed…

It seems ominous this post I’m writing to mark Britain’s official exit from the European Union today is post N°666.

Get thee behind me, Satan. And all that.

Iron Maiden. The Number of the Beast. 1982. EMI / Harvest. Art: Derek Riggs.

Not ominous really, perhaps just apt. If I were a blog newbie, then post N°13 would do just as well.

Anyway, sorry for the downbeat tone, I’m just mightily sad that today marks the date I, and many like me, will no longer be treated in law as European. To this I say… go fuck yourself. And please give me my European citizenship and freedoms back. To my Euro and Brit friends in the UK who never asked for any of this, I hope life will be uncomplicated and kind. To my fellow Brits in Europe, I hope it goes smoothly… we are subject in many ways now to our host country regs. And to the Brits who voted Leave… enjoy your celebration, sure, but please don’t rub it in the faces of those whose lives, family, homes, and jobs are being affected.

And now, a Nutella poem

The Nutella Poem

(part III. Exit crisis)

Nutella, Nutella, O how do we send thee across the Channel?

Your nuts enrobed in palm oil, cocoa and tariffs, held up in traffic,

lorry park queues and bound by new rules…

We want our Nutella! shout the hungry masses at the borders.

Nutella! Nutella! Not commemorative tea towels and 50p coins,

Nor mugs with slogans and a chubby thumbs-up!

Nutella! Your nuts! We want your price cuts,

supermarket discounts and multi-buy dreams,

lathered in cocoa, palm oil, oh sugar, oh Nutella…

Oh where is Nigella?

Nigella, Nigella, a recipe we need, to feed us,

to please us, to ease us, tease us, to free us…

from empty cupboards and ration book hell.

Nigella, Nutella, palm oil, nuts, cocoa and sugar,

(love never ends) We’ll always be together, together in Nutella dreams.

Italy. Topolino. 1978.

#JeNeSuisPasUnVirus – be kind. It could be your nation.

#guyverhofstadt – keep up the fight for continued European rights of those citizens about to lose them.

Nutella Poem (part I)

Nutella Poem (part II)


Happy New Yeats! Party like it’s 1999, in 1962!

Prince Magazine Special. 1985. Australia.

Happy new year vintage mates! Sorry we’re late and sorry we got the wrong year, but Wooof and I just got back from time travelling in 1982 watching Prince recording 1999, then we got lost in 1962 and found a cool book of poetry from W.B. Yeats, and then we got tangled up in a vintage space war between aliens and robots disputing a 3 billion year old moon made of chedder cheese and denim!

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Happy Midwinter!

Happy Midwinter to all my northern hemisphere friends!

Today is the December winter solstice – the shortest day and longest night. This morning I took these photos of a spider web that hangs between the railings on my terrace. The web has been there since summer, and has survived 38° heat, storms, horizontal rain, and the razor sharp teeth of the Mistral wind… yet despite being a bit battered and worn around the edges (a little like me) it’s still there.

As for the spider who guards the web? I saw her the other day scurrying down to investigate a potential meal, but unlucky for her it was just a fragment of leaf blown in by the breeze, and she scurried back up to her sheltered spot in an alcove.

The spider web on my terrace is a good image for me to hold up this midwinter time; it’s about bracing yourself against the elements, gathering nourishment and storing it for the cold months ahead. It’s about durability and strength. You could think of the life of a spider as solitary and predatory, a quite violent existence? Yet when you marvel at the intricacy of its web, iridescent against a wintry sun’s rays, you can’t help but seeing beauty.

The Spider. From The Celtic Animal Oracle. Anna Franklin. Illustrated by Paul Mason. 2003, Vega.

A TVTA toy spider.

A TVTA spider napkin art.


Happy December solstice 🙂

Lights in the sky – a special report

Seven falling lights formation seen on 10th December 2019 at 05.25.

December 10th. Tuesday. 2019. 05:25. Near the city of Toulon, Var, France.

Diary, I woke up at 05:05 ready to begin a 13 hour shift at work. At 05:25, I went out onto my terrace to fetch my bicycle, where I paused briefly to look up at the sky. It was dark, cold, with patches of stars visible against heavy rain clouds moving in from the north, and with a brisk, north-easterly wind snapping at my face, I steeled myself for what I suspected would be a daunting ride ahead.

Then something caught my attention: in the lower part of the south-eastern sky, I saw seven bright stars in a perfect vertical line aiming down at the horizon. At first I believed it was Orion’s Belt – but the constellation of Orion is not visible in this part of the sky at this hour in December, and normally appears around 22.00 in the evening, plus, there are only three stars that form Orion’s Belt, and I was witnessing seven.

What could they be? All at once, the seven stars began moving, descending, and I had to quickly reassess that what I was witnessing were not stars at all… they were moving lights in the sky!

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What is your special super power?

Whether you’re a superhero or a supervillain, one thing’s for certain… you’re going to need a special super power!

Now you can use TVTA’s handy chart below to find out yours!

Let us know in the comments what your special super power is!


What the critics said:

“Marvellous! TVTA does it again! The only blog to provide free super powers!” – The Morning Early Evening Weekly Daily Standard.

“Holy soup! The Incredible TVTA bestows super powers to blogosphere!” – The Times Litter Supplement.

“TVTA saves cat in tree!” – Feline Fine in Space Monthly.


Thanks for getting super powerful with us 🙂

Ka-pow image courtesy of Wyatta. Collage and chart by TVTA.

TVTA Update – thank you!

First. I’d like to give BIG thanks and hugs to the donors who kindly helped out funding subscriptions for The Vintage Toy Advertiser into 2019. I thanked you via email but wanted to say it publicly too. The site is good to go, and for next year I will ensure funds have been saved in advance to prevent this hiccup happening again. My bad this year, but your good. You guys rock!

Second. I have another request. Wait, please don’t throw all your garbage and bottles at me just yet – it’s not another call for your hard-earned cash… it’s for a petition, and my request is aimed exclusively at my readers who are either British-born or who reside in Britain.

Allow me to use a nasty swear word for a moment: “BREXIT”.

Many of you will know about the blight of Brexit cast across the island of Britain but which also affects the rest of Europe. Many of you will have already suffered my occasional rants here (I try to keep TVTA pop culture fun and not get political, but sometimes you have to use your voice for what matters to you the most no matter what!).

There is this incredible, record-breaking, UK Parliament petition available to sign right now, calling to revoke Article 50 (the means to cancel Brexit). It is currently standing at a staggering 5 million signatures! I’ll say that again – 5 million signatures! You can sign it here: https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/241584

At the risk of annoying any Brexiter readers I may have, I urge you to consider signing it. And even you are a Brexiter, you gotta admit the whole Brexit thing is a massive, steaming, stinker of a shit sandwich that no one wants to eat, right?

Personally, I’d be happy with a second referendum – with all options put on the table so everyone can vote in good knowledge, now that we are all armed with the facts and realities that were previously distorted. However, signing the petition to revoke the whole debacle – which I’d be happy with too 🙂 sends a strong message to Government that “the will of the people” is not just about the will of the ones who voted to Leave.

I love Europe. And I want to stay. Here’s that link again: https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/241584

Remainingly yours,

Ford

An invitation to help The Vintage Toy Advertiser

Drumming up a little support at TVTA!

It’s coming up to the time of the year when I have to renew my online presence for The Vintage Toy Advertiser. This time around I’m going to struggle. Domain upkeep, image hosting, ensuring the site remains ad-free, and the continual sourcing of vintage materials is proving quite costly this year. The Vintage Toy Advertiser receives hundreds of visits a day from all over the world, and I’m immensely happy and proud that over the years I’ve been able to maintain the site as a free archive and ad-free resource for all. Today I’m appealing for donations to help the site remain healthy. Any contribution will help, no matter how small.

If you would like to help out and are a Paypal user then please donate using the Paypal address of: thesilkies@hotmail.com with the ‘sending to a friend’ or ‘send to friends abroad’ option.

Many thanks. Ford, TVTA.

Poem: Idles when idle

Editor’s note: This poem has been selected for a special mission and will return soon. Apologies for any inconvenience.

 





Poem by the editor. Thanks to Idles.