The Prize of the Cat: Wooof’s missing pony from 1979!


A TVTA Short Story Mystery Special !! 


WHSmith Pony competition Look-In N°15 1979 UK


Our intrepid office cat Wooof reckons that in 1979 he won a pony in a W.H. Smith ‘outdoors’ competition, and that W.H. Smith cheated him out of his prize by deliberately misplacing ‘Bess’ at the Bull Ring Shopping Centre in Birmingham, England (Wooof told me he had already named the pony ‘Bess’ even before the ink had dried on his entry form, such was his confidence in winning!).

“I vote we crank up the TVTA time machine and go back to 1979 Birmingham to find out what happened,” said Wooof.

“Right now?” I replied. “I haven’t finished scanning those vintage egg-cosy knitwear patterns Mrs Coldkettle the tea lady donated.”

“Forget fashion accessories for boiled eggs,” said the cat. “We need to find Bess!”

CUT TO:


** TEN MINUTES LATER ** DIAL SET TO 1979, BIRMINGHAM BULL RING SHOPPING CENTRE ** SOUNDS OF TVTA TIME MACHINE WARP-WHOOSHING!! **


1979!!!

Crivens! Wooof and I arrived in 1979 Birmingham to absolute mayhem… flipping dinosaurs everywhere!! Funny, I don’t remember dinosaurs being around in 1979 in the West Midlands… Gah! Worse was that one of the vicious beasts, a T-Rex no less, had captured our missing nag and was about to make a pony sandwich out of her! Poor Bess!

“NOOOOOOooooooo!!!!” cried Wooof.

“It’s okay Wooof,” I said. “I don’t think that’s actually Bess in the jaws of that mad dinosaur… look closely… the poor creature is a fully-grown horse… whereas Bess is a mere pony and has WHSmith gift tags attached her!”

“Thank goodness for that!” said Wooof. “So, tell me, if the dinosaur doesn’t have Bess, who does?”

“A simple process of elimination will have us arriving at a satisfactory answer in no time at all,” I replied.

“I’m all ears,” said Wooof. “Who’s the culprit?”

Elvis Costello!”

Wooof frowned. “No way. Elvis Costello would never stoop so low as to rustle a pony!”

“Alright, fine, if not Elvis, how about the TV versions of Doctor Strange, Spider-Man, and the Incredible Hulk?”

“That’s just sick!” said the cat. “Superheroes are sworn to protect all ponies!”

“Even the TV superhero ones?”

“TV ones especially! There was no one else to look up to back in their day.”

“Maybe TV Hulk accidently stepped on Bess?”

“Are you serious?”

“Sometimes.”

“Next you’ll be accusing Captain Kirk!”

“Don’t be daft,” I said. “But maybe, just maybe… Spock has Bess!”

“Spock doesn’t have Bess,” sighed Wooof.

“Monkey?”

“Gahhhh! No,” said Wooof.

“Wonder Woman then?” said I.

“!!#!@!!! No!!!” cried the cat. This process of elimination is going to take ages!”


** SEVEN AND A HALF HOURS LATER **


Finally… I came up with a good solution to our dilemma…

“How about I call Spaceline?” I said.

“What in the name of holy cat biscuits is Spaceline?”

“It’s a recorded information line in 1984 that sometimes deals with time travel issues. All we have to do to access it is travel to 1984.”

“Well what are we waiting for!” said the cat, “Let’s hit 1984!”

CUT TO:


** DIAL SET FOR 1984 ** SEATBELTS FASTENED ** POWER FROCK SHOULDER PADS IN POSITION ** DURAN DURAN CASSETTES INSERTED INTO SONY WALKMANS ** SOUNDS OF TVTA TIME MACHINE WARP-WHOOSHING!! **


Wooof and I arrived in 1984 quicker than you can say ‘Big Brother is washing your Mullet.’ After several attempts we managed to locate a working red telephone box, and Wooof dropped a 10 Pence coin into the slot while I dialled the number on my print advert. We waited. Beep. Beep. Beep. ‘The time sponsored by Accurist is…’

Oops, wrong number. Try again…

We were eventually connected to a well-spoken female robot, and she said to us: “Welcome to Spaceline. You are speaking to Trinity9. How may I be of assistance?”

“We’re looking for my prize pony,” said Wooof. “Her name’s Bess…”  and he went on to explain the whole sorry story down the phoneline to Trinity9.

“I see,” said Trinity9. “So… you believe you were cheated out of a 1979 first prize pony by the competition organiser, and you suspect that this pony, who you named ‘Bess’, is currently located somewhere in a shopping centre in 1979 Birmingham, England?”

“Absotiffily!” said Wooof.”

“Liar!” said Trinity9, making Wooof jump. “There is no way you could have entered that competition in 1979… you weren’t even born!”

“I resent that undeniable fact!” said Wooof.

“He’s actually sixty-one in cat years,” I said.

“Your office cat is a big cheater!” said Trinity9.

“How dare you call me a cheetah!” exclaimed Wooof. ‘I’m a mixed breed Domestic Panther Tabby Green Nikto, if you must know!”

“He’s cross,” I said.

“I’m fuming!” said Wooof.

“We don’t appreciate these slurs,” I said.

“Too right,” agreed Wooof. “And I’ve been working hard on being appreciated!”

“Whatever,” replied Trinity9. “It doesn’t change the fact you manipulated your way into the past with the sole aim of winning a pony. This cat is a law breaker!”

“Operator, you’re crossing the line with these accusations,” I said.

“Mm.. actually, can you hold the line a moment…”

  • Please hold while you are connected to the next available agent.
  • For English press 1. Para Español presione el número 2.
  • Would you like to upgrade to our Elite Gold Viscount Emperor plan?
  • Your premium-rate call is important to us. Please continue to hold.
  • We’re sorry. All of our agents are busy. Please hang up and try again.

“Hello, Spaceline operator,” I said. “Trinity9, are you still there?”

“I’m still here.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing. I just put you on hold while I called the police.”

“Seriously? You called the police on us?”

“No. Not this time,” said Trinity9. “But think on… your cat cheated by secretly time-travelling to 1979 in order to win a pony. Just this very morning, he picked up an entry form from W.H. Smith… filled it in… posted it… then dashed back to the present time before you even had time to finish your breakfast! Cock-a-doodle-cornflakes!”

I turned to the cat. “Wooof, is this true?”

“I cannot lie,” replied Wooof. “I entered the competition this morning. I travelled back in time. I cheated. And I would have gotten away with it if it hadn’t been for that pesky Spaceline operator!”

“Wooof!” I cried. “Why? Why?!? You know our New Year’s Resolution this year was to stop cheating. Pfft. Failed once again… and we made it as far as October this year!!”

“Actually,” said the cat, “didn’t we, like, fail in February when you ‘accidently’ scanned 180 euros which you tried to pay the electricity bill with, and then we ended up…”

“Shhhhh! Not now, Wooof!” I hissed. “That was just an April Fool prank.”

“In February?”

“Ahem, ahem,” coughed Trinty9.

“Yes?”

“Talking of euros… it is my duty to inform you that your call so far has cost 50 euros in charges.”

“50 flippin euros!?!!”

“It’s a premium phone line, sir!”

“Well, for 50 euros you can at least tell us if Wooof won that perishing competition or not.”

“No, I’m afraid your cat didn’t win.”

“Not even the sailing holiday prize?” Wooof asked hopefully.

“No.”

“A Binatone TV?

“Nope.”

“The runner up prize of a camera?”

“No,” said Trinity9. “You won absolutely nothing. And good… serves you right for cheating!”

“Well that sucks massively,” said Wooof. “So how do you explain disappearing ponies called ‘Bess’ in the middle of Birmingham, shopping centres, dinosaurs on the loose, and all the other crazy things we haven’t even had time to mention yet?”

“I’m afraid your time-travelling shenanigans caused multiple time paradoxes,” said Trinty9. “Your competition cheating has damaged the very fabric of time.”

“Like the Butterfly Effect?” I said.

“More like the Bull-in-a-china-shop Effect,” replied Trinity9.

“Yes,” said Wooof. “We wondered why we saw dinosaurs in 1979 Birmingham. That really was stretching credibility to its absolute limits.”

“Yes,” I said, adding, “About as likely as finding King Kong in the Bullring Shopping Centre in 1972!”

“Ha, ha,” laughed Wooof. “Imagine that!”

“Ahem, ahem,” coughed Trinity9. “Sir, may I inform you that your call charge to Spaceline is about to exceed the 100 euro mark? This call is costing you and your cat a small fortune.”

“Wooof,” I said to the cat, handing him a shiny 50 Pence coin. “Nip to the nearest newsagent for two 10p mix-ups and a couple of comics, while I chat to the nice Spaceline operator.”

“Yippee!” cheered Wooof, leaving me alone in the phone box while he made for the nearest John Menzies.

John Menzies. Look In N°15. 1979. UK.

“So, what do you suggest I do?” I said to Trinity9. “I can’t possibly take Wooof back to the present time without some kind of pony prize… the poor cat will retreat into weeks of solitude and dark reflection, like how he did when he found out SpongeBob SquarePants wasn’t real.”

“I myself was equally shattered when I discovered Bob was only a cartoon,” replied Trinity9. “Didn’t sleep properly for days… and normally I’m a out-like-a-light-kind-of-robot-gal the moment my head hits the pillow…”

“Listen, Trinity9,” I said. “I’m not here to talk pillow talk… I’m here to kick missing first prize ass and chew nicotine replacement gum… and right now I’m all out of both! Come on, Spaceline lady robot buddy, help an editor out here… We can’t disappoint the cat! Fix it so that Wooof wins the pony, hm?”

“If you are suggesting I try and help you cheat in some way…” sniffed Trinity9.

“Not cheating…” I said, “Think of it more as bending the integrity of truth into a funny shape kind of thing… like those Bend ‘Ems toys, or Stretch Armstrong.”

“Or Play-Doh?”

“Yes! Absolutely! Do it for Play-Doh… think of the children!”

The phone went silent for an agonisingly long time.

Then: “Okay, Mr TVTA editor,” said Trinity9. “I have just the idea…”

“You do?”

“Oh boy do I!”

CUT TO:


** ONBOARD TVTA TIME MACHINE ** 1970s SWEETS AND COMICS BEING ENJOYED ** VERY HAPPY OFFICE CAT AND RELIEVED EDITOR ** DIAL SET FOR PRESENT TIME ** TVTA TIME MACHINE WARP-WHOOSHING!! **


“How do you like your new pony then?” I asked Wooof.

“She’s adorable,” replied the cat. “And you’re right… doing things the honest way is far more rewarding than cheating.”

“Correct,” I said. “Wooof, you know… cheating is never good… cheating is like…

[INSERT 4th wall break – brief lecture on the virtues of honesty vs cheating to get ahead, followed by back-slapping congratulations and manic laughter]

“Oh man! You are so right when you say all that!” agreed Wooof.

“Absolutely so. Now, tell me, old cat, what are you going to call your new pony?”

“I’m going to call her New Bess… In honour of Old Bess.”

“Wooof, that’s so thoughtful of you. Old Bess would be pleased to know you cared about her so much.”

“I miss her terribly,” said Wooof, gazing off into space, a sadness coming over him.

“I know, old cat. It’s going to take days to get over something like this.”

“Good thing I have my replacement pony then,” said Wooof, perking up a little.

“I admire your courage to move forward so quickly. Especially as it’s only been thirty minutes. Say, where is New Bess?”

“She’s right here,” said Wooof. “I just finished tidying her stables, and we’re all done with her grooming. Time for sugar cubes I think. New Bess…” Wooof called out to his pony… “Come to Wooof-daddy. It’s chow time!”

Enter:

New Bess

LATER…


TVTA EDITOR AND OFFICE CAT RELAXING IN FRONT OF LOG FIRE AT TVTA TOWERS ** COMICS, SLIPPERS, WARM MILK, G&T, PELICAN BEER, PIPE, VEGGIE CAT BISCUITS, PIZZA **


“What are you reading there?” I asked the cat.

He looked up from his vintage comic. “Catwoman,” he replied. “She’s my hero. But hey, I was just browsing some of the ads… and I was thinking of entering this, erm, competition thingy…”

“Hmmm… And what competition would that be?” I asked suspiciously.

“Oh, nothing too crazy.” Wooof handed me the comic, the page open to an advert… a competition… 1985…

“Wooof, no!!” I said, horrified.

“Come on… it’s only a quick trip to 1985… that’s just like yesterday man! And you know how much I’ve always wanted my own collection of art dinosaurs…”

“Absolutely no Wooof! No, no, no!!!!”


FIN


Story: TVTA

Images: scanned from the collection of TVTA

Dinosaur eating a horse comic strip images: Eagle, UK.

King Kong Bull Ring photo: Birminghammail.co.uk

Disco-claimer: No ponies or dinosaurs were harmed in this short story. Birmingham is a fictitious city and any resemblance to second cities in the UK either alive or dead is pure hearsay. No competitions were entered into illegally. W. H. Smith please don’t sue us… the above short story you have just read has been deep faked into the electronic pages of TVTA without our permission and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it. Please help save TVTA immediately by donating cryptocurrency or sending hard cash in an envelope. We also accept diamonds, speedboats, Duran Duran tapes, pizza, cake, and cameo roles in indie or big budget films. Thanks.

The gift of the cat … Chet Phillips Vintage Travel Posters!

The editor and office cat of TVTA in rare moment of relaxation.

How lovely! Yesterday morning in the TVTA mail room, while opening envelopes containing our usual assortment of comics, catalogues, adverts and, erm, bills, I managed to find a surprise gift just for little old me!

Wow, thanks Wooof! I can’t believe you ordered me a set of Chet Phillips Vintage-style Travel Poster Postcards!

Chet Phillips is a digital artist, and you can check out his work here

In the meantime, feast your peepers on the the cool pressie Wooof got me – six vintage-style British and Scottish Tourism posters, upon which not just a splendid tour of Britain is promised, but something else lurking in the scenery!

Enjoy 🙂


As always, thanks for looking 🙂 Thanks Chet for making some wonderful art! And thanks Wooof for the cool gift 🙂

Ten misread internet instructions that prove I am a serial killer at heart

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D. 2013. Japan.

Or so Wooof reckons… The cheeky office cat suggested I might have serial killer tendencies due to my occasional habit of misreading text, replacing innocent words with a terrifying synonym, and adding murderous instructions onto the end of online mission statements!

Pfft. Wooof’s a fine one to talk… he’s killed more than enough mice, birds, moths and garden frogs to put Ed Gein’s cat to shame, if Ed Gein ever had a cat, that is.

Dear readers, trust me when I tell you I don’t have serial killer tendencies – just poor eyesight and cheap reading glasses, and a fondness for Halloween.

Yippee!! Only 200 days to go till Halloween!

Image courtesy of days.to


You misheard it here first!

10 misread internet instructions that prove I am a serial killer at heart…

  1. eBay – Don’t forget to leave feedback for your victims.
  2. Email – You have twelve undead messages.
  3. Privacy – Your privacy is important to us, which is why we are recording you undressing.
  4. Tabs – You have multiple open stabs. Do you wish to create stab groups?
  5. Facebook – We know what you did last summer (even if you aren’t on Facebook).
  6. Blogging sites – Proudly prowled by WordPress.
  7. Virtual Assistants – You have severley disabled Alexa.
  8. Defunct Social Media – In MySpace no one can hear you scream.
  9. Twitter – Find people you know (drug them, blackmail them, kill them).
  10. YouTube – Create a personal chainsaw. Fill out the details to name your new chainsaw and verify your account.

As always, thanks for looking for innocent victims to chop up according to the voices in your head  🙂 

Top tips for being a successful blogger in an age of uncertainty


Greetings vintage mates,

If you wish to become a successful blogger in this age of uncertainty,

you will need…

#1 – a ridiculous but click-worthy title. Like the one I’ve used for today’s post. Utterly meaningless. But somewhat intriguing. I’d click on it for sure.

You will also need…

#2 – attention-grabbing pic fairly early on, as some people simply won’t be bothered to read your words, no matter how good a wordsmith you are. I already added a cool pic at the start of the post, but here’s another one to keep things fresh…

How to handle your hamster correctly.


#3 – you will also need a sense of self-deprecation. As editor of TVTA I daily suck at many things. I try to do well but often fail miserably, or spectacularly. Here I am one time in Paris, trying to look cool but in reality taking up valuable image hosting space which could be used for something far more useful. Thank goodness I don’t have a Facebook or Instagram to share this photo on!

I eat croissants. Portrait of the artist in pre-tentious moment of vintage grandeur. Mon Dieu, I love France, and it’s curious and beautiful people, and old-school postcards, and display rack anti-theft devices.


To be a successful blogger in an age of uncertainty you will also need:

#4 – a loyal and intrepid office cat. Like TVTA’s very own Wooof! 75% of stuff that gets done around here can be attributed to the cat. The other 25% is me, but only because the cat has mind-control powers which I am unable to resist – no matter how often I wear my protective blue and red lens vintage 3D glasses, or the orange and purple-striped teflon-lined woolen jersey Mrs Coldkettle the tea lady knitted me last winter.

Wooof, TVTA intrepid office cat (in secret moustache and Dicky Bow disguise kit).


#5 – a fear of clowns. This will help you to focus, stay sharp, and keep you on your blogging toes at all times!

Run like the wind!


#6 – space ships. Statistics show that 71% of successful bloggers in an age of uncertainty have access to functional spaceships.


#7 – Giant motorised fruit and vegetables. A must-have for bloggers in an age of uncertainty!


#8 – you will also need a Karma Credit Roll

What’s this?

A Karma Credit Roll, or as TVTA likes to sometimes call it The Boomerang In Your Arms Effect is quite simply the force of love. In the words of the great German thinker/Scorpions vocalist, Klaus Mein: “The more love you give, the more you’ll find.” In blogging terms this can be related to an appreciation of the works of your fellow bloggers to gain an appreciation of your own work, while at the same time creating an enriching environment for all.


#9 – you’re also gonna need a stack of vintage adverts, magazines and comics! (if that’s your thing). Luckily Wooof and I have a few thousand of these scattered around the place…


#10 – and lastly, to be a successful blogger in an age of uncertainty, you will need to post a Top-Ten list of something you think is cool, even if it’s been done before, or it’s not cool, or it doesn’t make any sense – you absolutely must (by internet law) make a Top-Ten list of something… which is exactly what I’ve done with this post 🙂

Now, sit back, soak up all those likes, comments, reblogs, and endorsements from major corporations and Hollywood stars. You’ve earned it baby!

Suggested power song to blog to today: “The Best” by Tina Turner.

As always, thanks for looking 🙂

This post was brought to you by office cat disguise kits and top ten lists of top ten things to top ten list about when you generally avoid top ten things. No hamsters, fruit or vegetables were handled incorrectly in this production. All images courtesy of French comic/magazine Pif Gadget

Never Mind the Adverts Pt14 – Action Figure Frolics and Fun, plus Name-that-Figure quiz, all in TVTA Color!

Welcome to the latest Never Mind The Adverts Here Are The Toys!

In this edition, I finally get my hands on a Thirteenth Doctor action figure as portrayed by Jodie Whittaker in the BBC sci-fi drama Doctor Who. Judge Death stops by to give us an intimate portrait. X-23 Laura Kinney strikes some cool poses. Barbie meets a Dalek! And test your knowledge with TVTA’s fun-time action figure quiz: can you identify the characters and which franchise they belong to?


Doctor Who by Character Options

When 13 met Martha…

The Doctor and Martha Jones finally meet. It’s only natural they strike a pose for the camera.

when Barbie met Dalek

Dalek: Exfoliate! Exfoliate! Barbie: All in good time my lovely new blue accessory… first we have to choose outfits, do our hair, bake cakes, then there’s this cool party I’m throwing later over at my place. What? You haven’t seen my dream house yet!?!


Judge Death – the intimate side 

X-23 – These boots are made for slashing, and a fistful of adamantium! 

X-23… how do you like it?


Quiz time!!!

And now, from Norwich, it’s the quiz of the week! Presenting, in glorious TVTAColorVision, the TVTA fun-time action figure quiz: Identify each character for 1 point, its franchise for a bonus point. Can you score more than 14 points? Don’t feel bad if not, this is quite hard, and Wooof only scored 5 points and he’s supposed to be an expert! Haha. Hard cheese, cat… What, shhhh, don’t tell the readers I only scored 3 points!

Answers are at the end of the post… no cheating! Deduct a point if you do, naughty you!

Right, let’s go! Name the following characters, and the franchise they appear in…


Cowboys!

And finally, how about some cool cowboy figures from the 1980s? These were made by a company called Gerca. I remember nagging my mom for ages as a kid for a pack of cowboys very similar to these – I wanted them because their hats and guns were removable and the body parts interchangeable!

Wild West figures. Gerca. 1980s. Made in Macau. Loose.

Wild West figures. Gerca. 1980s. Made in Macau. MIP.


That’s all folks,

Thanks for getting action figure quizzical with us 🙂  Join us again soon for another edition of Never Mind The Adverts, in glorious TVTAColorVision!! 

Office cat tales: The gum of the cat

‘A nice gift in each packet’. Malabar bubble-gum. 1983. France.

This morning I was surprised to see our office cat Wooof floating inside what can only be described as a pink balloon of bubble-gum.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“I’m floating inside a pink balloon of bubble-gum,” replied the cat.

It seemed perfectly reasonable for me to ask, “Why?”

“I was scanning some adverts for a blog post about bubble-gum and chewing-gum when I stumbled across several old packs of the pink stuff which accidently on purpose fell into my mouth.”

“You mean you’ve been chewing vintage gum again?”

“Yes. Forty-seven pieces to be precise.”

“Gloria Gaynor, Wooof! I know TVTA has been accused of being trapped inside a worthless vintage bubble, but you’ve taken that criticism to a whole new level.”

“If I don’t stop floating upwards I may reach a new level entirely – like outside,” said the cat nervously. “I see you still haven’t replaced the missing roof tiles. How about you poke me with a big stick, quick, before I end up fighting for air space with the starlings, drones and police helicopters.”

“Poke you with a stick?” I said. “I’d hate to deflate your ego dear cat.”

“This is no time for your ridiculous puns.”

Office cat bubble-pun gum-filled trip to the sun?

“Just poke me!”

And so I grabbed a nearby bargepole (for some reason we have nine of them in the TVTA office) and I deflated the cat, who landed on the floor with such a wallop that Mrs Coldkettle the tea lady dropped the coffee urn on her big toe and delivered a volley of such fierce oaths that it immediately began to rain. But back to the poor cat… and post-explosion Wooof had made a terrible mess on the office floor – all pink, sticky fur and candyfloss tail and globs of gum and retro adverts strewn about like an 80s Barbie party gone mad.

“Look at the state of me,” moaned the cat. “How will I get all this gum out of my fur?”

“Looks like I’ll have to leave you in the office fridge-freezer overnight,” I said.

“No way! You know we have an angry polar bear in the fridge!”

“Wooof, stop linking to that old post! It’s ancient history.”

“You’ll be ancient history if you don’t hurry up and get this gum out of my fur.”

“Alright. Calm down. Now, where’s your Hello Kitty grooming brush? I’m afraid this is going to hurt you more than it’s going to hurt me…”

Hours later

So, after much cat-a-wailing the cat finally got de-gummed, and we even had time to finish scanning all those bubble gum and chewing gum adverts he’d found. Phew!



Hollywood chewing gum 2001 Star Wars promotion

Hollywood Star Wars promotion. 2001. France. Front of box.

Hollywood Star Wars promotion. 2001. France. Rear of box collectable images.


That’s all from us today folks. Beep-beep!

Thank you for masticating with us 🙂

Malabar gum. 1983. France.


The fashion of the cat – super cool retro clothing ads!

It’s official! Stuntman T-shirt. The Incredible Hulk N°301. 1984. US.

A TVTA Fashion Exclusive !!!

Wooof was so excited. The intrepid office cat had been busy preparing our Non-toy ad Tuesday segment when he came across a 1982 advert for Starburst sweatshirts!

“Of course I’ll order you some,” I told him. “After all you’re not quite sixteen yet and don’t have a bank account.”

Cue one happy cat and the order form completed of our first featured ad. Right, time to fire up the office time machine in the name of fashion and exclamation mark overuse as we go shopping!!!!!

Starburst Sweatshirts!

Starburst Sweatshirt offer. Rampage Magazine N°54. 1982. UK.

Official Doctor Who Peter Davison T-shirt.

I want this!! Wooof, can you add it to our Doctor Who wishlist?

Doctor Who Monthly N°78. 1983. UK.

X-Men Mutant Gear.

Mrs Coldkettle the TVTA tea lady has been after a Cyclops tour jacket since 1994!

Die Cut N°4. 1994. US.

Marvel streetwear. Perfect for kids, badgers and foxes!

Wooof’s best friends in the TVTA neighbourhood is a gang of friendly badgers and foxes. Wooof’s promised to order them some cool Marvel apparel for their birthdays, as seen in the advert below. Such a thoughtful cat.

Marvel Classics. Die Cut N°4. 1994.

JNCO Autopilot Trainers

Alessandro the pigeon who lives on the TVTA roof has expressed an interest in a pair of these.

JNCO. The Young All-Stars N°9. 1988.

Matchbox T-shirt and Team Members’ Cap!

Club gear awaits, courtesy of the Matchbox Junior Collectors’ Club!

Matchbox Collectors’ Catalogue 1987/87. Australia.

Matchbox Collectors’ Catalogue 1987/87. Australia.

Official Star Wars Clothing!

We’ll take twenty-four of everything thanks!

The Star Wars Trilogy Special Edition Offers Catalogue. 1997. UK.

Atari Super Cobra Flight Jacket.

Perfect for TVTA’s retrogaming winter weekend parties in our chilly office (we currently have no glass in the windows due to Wooof’s erratic yo-yo skills – see here).

Super Cobra flight Jacket. The Incredible Hulk N°292. 1984. US.


Booey-phooey! We’ve run out of clothing ads, real money, virtual money and time-travel fuel! Time to crash-land to the end of the post and dust ourselves down. Never mind, we’re certain there’ll be other retro fashion posts in the near future. In the meantime we’re off to listen David Bowie’s Fashion while trying on our new duds 🙂

Fashion, turn to the left,
Fashion, turn to the right,
Ooh fashion,
We are the goon squad and we're coming to town,
Beep-beep. (David Bowie. Fashion)