Tag Archives: Wooof

Predictive text – it’s no picnic

‘Why are you looking so perplexed?’ Wooof asked me this morning during my third cup of coffee.

‘It’s that predictive text thingy,’ I said.

‘Oh?’

‘Well, it never works. For example, I’ve been researching for a big writing piece I’m working on. I tried to enter into my search engine: “Public Inquiries of the Twentieth Century” … and do you know what it predicted?’

‘What?’

‘”Picnic Injuries of the Twentieth Century”, that’s what!’

‘Ha-ha,’ laughed the cat. ‘I suppose that might involve trapped fingers inside hampers, wasp stings, napkin cuts, champagne corks in the eye.’

‘It’s pretty serious stuff when you look into it. Perhaps we ought to warn our readers?’

‘We should,’ agreed the cat. ‘Summer’s only around the corner. Soon there’ll be chequered blankets and condiments everywhere! How are we to keep the good folk of Vintage-land safe?’

‘By launching our very own public service picnic ad campaign!’ I said.

‘Are you serious?’

‘Sometimes.’

‘Alright,’ said the cat. ‘Let’s do it!’


INTRODUCING 

TVTA’s Summertime Safe Picnic Initiative is proudly sponsored by Badgerworth’s Wasp-catcher Kettles and Foxes & Fangles Mind That Bear Exploding Monkeys.



Ask The Family! 

We asked 1960’s Tammy’s family for their top Dos and Don’ts when it comes to enjoying a safe picnic in style.


The right look, the safe look!

Tammy: “It’s important for me to look my best at all times. But when it comes to picnics… skiing, roller skates and archery are huge no-go areas. Don’t be tempted by the latest fads or what your friends might say. It’s just not worth the risk!”

 

Below: Good show Tammy, that’s the safe way to picnic and you still look stylish!


Don’t be a square, daddy-o!

Ted and Dad are taking big risks by wearing such formal and warm attire to the picnic. 27% of picnic fatalities are caused by heat exposure and the rapid onset of mindless delirium. In severe cases the over-heated picnicker may resort to heinous criminal activity. 

Below: That’s better lads!


Stay cool, but never be underdressed!

Blimey Mom, watch out for your skin! More than 32% of picnic fatalities are caused by deadly insects attracted to human flesh. In addition, serious sunburn injuries can occur within just minutes of exposing bare arms and legs on the picnic blanket. Don’t risk it. Cover up sensibly. Mom looks great for a woman her age, let’s keep her that way!


Keep an eye on children at all times!

More than 47% of picnic fatalities arise from children being taken offsite by wild bears, mountain lions, Komodo dragons and in rare cases sharks.

Be seen!

Tammy’s younger sister Pepper says: “When I was very young I had to stay at home during family picnics. Understandable. The risk was too great. Now I’m older I wear the latest, brightest and fashionable clothing so that my family can easily spot me. Bright colours can also act as a deterrent to killer animals. Don’t forget to accessorise with glitter and jewellery to make you really stand out! Visibility coupled with style is key. How else will your family be able to find you as wild creatures drag you screaming into the woods by your bleeding hair follicles and…  

… alright Pepper that’s enough, we get the idea. Stop freaking us out! 

Picnic on dudes!

So dear reader, this summer, be safe, be seen, be stylish, and most importantly enjoy your picnic adventures!

 


Editor’s note: If you would like to find out more about Tammy’s family then please take a look at our excellent Tammy catalogue pages here

And Wooof, please change the site logo back to how it was!

Etch A Sketch

An original boxed French-produced Etch A Sketch marketed as Télécran in France, the country in which it was invented.

The linographic drawing toy Etch A Sketch was invented by André Cassagnes and marketed as Télécran in France. The mechanical drawing board is instantly recognisable with its plastic red frame and two white knobs. The knobs are turned by hand to control a vertical and horizontal stylus across an aluminium powder-coated surface which creates solid lines on the screen.

Classic toy

Etch A Sketch has proved an immensely popular toy throughout the 1960s to present times, winning numerous awards like the ‘Toy Oscars’, induction into the ‘National Toy Hall of Fame’, the ‘Century of Toys List’, recommendations by the French Ministry of Education, and character roles in all three Toy Story movies.

Suitable for office cats?

You bet. I asked Wooof to test out our 1980s French version. Several hours’ later and three spent boxes of Catbizkit Chowbars, here are the stunning results, straight from the cat!


Adverts

Etch A Sketch catalogue entry. Ets De Neuter. 1995. France.


Etch A Sketch catalogue entry. Trampline. 1980. France.


The Toy Story films

Disney Pixar.

Disney Pixar

 


How does Etch A Sketch work?

Basic mechanism of operating a 2-dimensional plotter. All of the numbered components correspond to those which move the plotter’s stylus horizontally, and the lettered components with those which move it vertically. Device consists of a series of 10 pulleys, 6 cables, 2 rails, and a stylus. 
The toy is a kind of plotter. The inside surface of the glass screen is coated with aluminium powder, which is then scraped off by a movable stylus, leaving a dark line on the light gray screen. The stylus is controlled by the two large knobs, one of which moves it vertically and the other horizontally. Turning both knobs simultaneously makes diagonal lines. To erase the picture, the user turns the toy upside down and shakes it. Doing this causes polystyrene beads to smooth out and re-coat the inside surface of the screen with aluminum powder. The “black” line merely exposes the darkness inside the toy. Filling in large “black” areas allows enough light through to expose parts of the interior. – Author: K.D. Schroeder – graphic name.svg from Wikimedia Commons – License: CC-BY-SA 3.0


That’s all for now Etcher-sketchers, thanks for getting doodly with us 🙂

Non-toy ad Tuesday – Valentine Office Cats

St. Valentine’s Day is almost upon us, and it’s right about now Wooof starts receiving in the post more ‘Valentine’ mail than we do adverts and catalogues combined. Honestly, this morning when I arrived at the front door of TVTA Towers I nearly broke an ankle tripping over Wooof’s fan mail. Not that I’m jealous or anything. The last time I received a Valentine card was when I time travelled all the way back to the Romantic Era to pick up a fine tapestry made for me by a most charming and aspiring poet. The tapestry weighed a ton, and sadly it disintegrated upon re-entry to the 21st Century. But it’s the thought that counts.

Wooof asked me to post up some items from his ‘cat collection’ before he departed for three days of Valentine pampering at the Kool Kitty Jazz Spa in town.

Here you go cat lovers… miaou… miaou .!

Theophile Alexandre Steinlen. Collection du Chat Noir. 1898.

Quinquina Dubonnet. Jules Cheret. 1896.

Une Vie De Chat / A Cat’s Life (A cat in Paris). Japan. 2012.

Une Vie De Chat (reverse)

The Celtic Animal Oracle. Franklin and Mason. 2003. Vega.

Lisette. 1946. France.

Cat Fancy. Feb 2015.

Cat Fancy. Feb 2015.

Les Aventuriers du Micromonde. Pif Gadget. 1982.

Sunday Pictorial. 1926. UK.

Film Review. 1979. UK.

WCW action figures

Ladies and gentlemen, WordPress promotions in association with Freshly Pressed Premium Cat Food Accounts only, are proud to present, all the way from 1992, Galoob’s World Wrestling Championship action figures and Sound Slammin’ Action Ring playset! Woop! Yeahhrrr!

“RARRRR! TVTA is comin’ atcha! Grrurrrghhhh! An’ this time we ain’t foolin’ around an’ no way we’re lettin’ them low-down vintage ad browser boys beat us and cheat us like they did last time!! So better hold on to your pants coz TVTA’s gonna be whippin’ that VTWWC¹ belt right offa your skinny hips… Weee-doggie!!!² An’ there ain’t gonna be no stinkin’ cheatin’ Google referees to place us below you in the search engine rankings this time! Grarrrrrrr! We’s mean, and keen, and goin’ up to eleven on our time machine! We’s tough, rough, got an office cat called Wooof, and you better mark our words when we say TVTA is gonna lay this thing down right now! Yeah!! Bring it on!!”

US. Galoob trade catalogue. 1992.

US. Galoob trade catalogue. 1992.

US. Galoob trade catalogue. 1992.

US. Galoob trade catalogue. 1992.


Thank you for Hay-making, Half-Nelsoning, and Boston-Crabbing with us on a Saturday teatime with Dickie Davies  🙂

Footstool notes:

  1. Vintage Toy World Wrestling Championship
  2. Thanks Mean Machine, you would have made an excellent pro-wrestler if it hadn’t been for that pesky Judge Dredd
TVTA apologies for its poor imitation of 1990s pre-match wrestling threats. Wooof ate far too many cat energy biscuits while reading his latest copy of The Cat Fanciers Furball Monthly while at the same time keeping one eye on a failed weekend binge of WCW on VHS. Normal service will be resumed as soon as we clean up the mess, rewind the tapes, and get back from Blockbusters.

 

The lack of sleep of the cat

No work for three whole days! Yippee Wooof, it is Tuesday, right? Absotiffily, replied the cat, who was returning, somewhat bleary-eyed, from all an all-nighter down in the archives. Armed with empty cartons of Are-You-Feline-Fine-Cat-Fuel, Miow-Miow-Nitro-biscuits and a dozen or so vintage adverts, the poor mog looked absolutely exhausted!

You’re working too hard, you should take a day off, I told him, like me. Not until we get these latest ads scanned, replied the cat. We’ve got deadlines, didn’t ya know.

Me: Yes, and you have crows feet, and more bags under your eyes than the Eye of Horus coming out of Sainsbury’s on a Saturday morning! Now give me those ads and go and grab some zeds. I’ll do the scanning today.

Wooof: If you’re sure?

Me: So long as there are no clown ads I’m good.

Wooof: Nope, no clown ads today.

Me: Positive?

Wooof: Positive. Jings, sonny, when are you going to get over this ridiculous fear of clowns?

Me: I’m trying, Wooof, I’m trying. Now, donc, alors, allez, au lit… bonne nuit!

Righto, said the cat, on my way! Oh, and by the way, it’s not Tuesday, it’s Wednesday…

Too late. Cue sounds of scanner….

Whirr… whirr… click…

Whirr… whirr… click…

Whirr… whirr… click…

Whirr… whirr…

Whirr…

Woooooooooffffffffff!!!”


In today’s Non-toy ad Tuesday non-Tuesday non-sleep blog post, we get all bubblegummed-up with Malabar and Bazooka. We get snappy with Kodak and Polaroid cameras, quench our thirst with sporty-themed drinks, brush our teeth with Colgate, discover that in Danish Kaptajn Knas cereals is Cap’n Crunch cereals, and Peter Plys is Winnie-the-Pooh, and lastly we get busy with the fizzy SodaStream!

Malabar Bubblegum

France. Pif Gadget. 1983.

France. Pif Gadget. 1983.

France. Pif Gadget. 1978.

Polaroid Instant 10 Camera

France. Pif Gadget. 1978.

Kodak camera

Denmark. Anders And & Co. 1983.

Colgate

Denmark. Anders And & Co. 1983.

Sporty-themed Drinks

Denmark. 1988.

France. Pif Gadget. 1977.

Kaptajn Knas is Cap’n Crunch in Denmark

Denmark. Anders And & Co. 1987.

Peter Plys is Winnie-the-Pooh in Denmark

Denmark. Anders And & Co. 1981.

SodaStream

Denmark. Anders And & Co. 1981.

Denmark. 1980.

Thank you for bypassing clowns with us 🙂