Top tips for being a successful blogger in an age of uncertainty


Greetings vintage mates,

If you wish to become a successful blogger in this age of uncertainty,

you will need…

#1 – a ridiculous but click-worthy title. Like the one I’ve used for today’s post. Utterly meaningless. But somewhat intriguing. I’d click on it for sure.

You will also need…

#2 – attention-grabbing pic fairly early on, as some people simply won’t be bothered to read your words, no matter how good a wordsmith you are. I already added a cool pic at the start of the post, but here’s another one to keep things fresh…

How to handle your hamster correctly.


#3 – you will also need a sense of self-deprecation. As editor of TVTA I daily suck at many things. I try to do well but often fail miserably, or spectacularly. Here I am one time in Paris, trying to look cool but in reality taking up valuable image hosting space which could be used for something far more useful. Thank goodness I don’t have a Facebook or Instagram to share this photo on!

I eat croissants. Portrait of the artist in pre-tentious moment of vintage grandeur. Mon Dieu, I love France, and it’s curious and beautiful people, and old-school postcards, and display rack anti-theft devices.


To be a successful blogger in an age of uncertainty you will also need:

#4 – a loyal and intrepid office cat. Like TVTA’s very own Wooof! 75% of stuff that gets done around here can be attributed to the cat. The other 25% is me, but only because the cat has mind-control powers which I am unable to resist – no matter how often I wear my protective blue and red lens vintage 3D glasses, or the orange and purple-striped teflon-lined woolen jersey Mrs Coldkettle the tea lady knitted me last winter.

Wooof, TVTA intrepid office cat (in secret moustache and Dicky Bow disguise kit).


#5 – a fear of clowns. This will help you to focus, stay sharp, and keep you on your blogging toes at all times!

Run like the wind!


#6 – space ships. Statistics show that 71% of successful bloggers in an age of uncertainty have access to functional spaceships.


#7 – Giant motorised fruit and vegetables. A must-have for bloggers in an age of uncertainty!


#8 – you will also need a Karma Credit Roll

What’s this?

A Karma Credit Roll, or as TVTA likes to sometimes call it The Boomerang In Your Arms Effect is quite simply the force of love. In the words of the great German thinker/Scorpions vocalist, Klaus Mein: “The more love you give, the more you’ll find.” In blogging terms this can be related to an appreciation of the works of your fellow bloggers to gain an appreciation of your own work, while at the same time creating an enriching environment for all.


#9 – you’re also gonna need a stack of vintage adverts, magazines and comics! (if that’s your thing). Luckily Wooof and I have a few thousand of these scattered around the place…


#10 – and lastly, to be a successful blogger in an age of uncertainty, you will need to post a Top-Ten list of something you think is cool, even if it’s been done before, or it’s not cool, or it doesn’t make any sense – you absolutely must (by internet law) make a Top-Ten list of something… which is exactly what I’ve done with this post 🙂

Now, sit back, soak up all those likes, comments, reblogs, and endorsements from major corporations and Hollywood stars. You’ve earned it baby!

Suggested power song to blog to today: “The Best” by Tina Turner.

As always, thanks for looking 🙂

This post was brought to you by office cat disguise kits and top ten lists of top ten things to top ten list about when you generally avoid top ten things. No hamsters, fruit or vegetables were handled incorrectly in this production. All images courtesy of French comic/magazine Pif Gadget

26 thoughts on “Top tips for being a successful blogger in an age of uncertainty

  1. Paul Bowler

    LOL! What a brilliant fun post. Great tips, I’d certainly vouch for having a spaceship as well! Works for an impossible astronaut like me! You know, I’ve never done a top ten list post, I really should get around to that one day. They are fun to read 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
      1. For Tyeth

        Hello guys, spaceships are fun….crashing them isn’t but I do have replacement parts on order to repair my Actis ETA-2 Starfighter! I just have to work on getting a cat – I have an allergy to cat hair though.
        And by order of Internet Law I think I will copy Mr Bowler, copying you and do a “Top Ten of Things and Stuff” too! Great post.

        Liked by 2 people

        Reply
          1. For Tyeth

            Hi TVTA, I just clicked the link you provided and saw the first image and thought “That cat is wearing a hooded cardigan sweater!” Then I scroll down and there’s a second image of a cat wearing a real wool jumper…Really? They make clothes for cats now?
            I can see “WOOOF! Fashions” in your near future!

            Liked by 1 person

            Reply
  2. ArcaneHalloween

    All great tips my friend, I am definitely self deprecating, have a cat (who, of course, is in charge!) despise clowns ( I mean, who doesn’t) though I haven’t had access to any spaceships as of yet (just T-Rex’s with saddles and laser guided rockets… does that count?) Hmm, and I’ve not, as of yet, done a top 10 list (maybe a top 15, but never 10) 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. The Vintage Toy Advertiser Post author

      My friend, a saddled T-Rex with laser guided rockets counts absolutely!! How cool! I’m surprised so far at how many of us WP buddies haven’t done a top ten yet. Today was my first. I did a top 7 last year, but now it feels good to be in the ’10’ club 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  3. Neil

    I love these top 10 tips. I have like your self read a few. They always smack of lack of content. Dark clothes and sunglasses are the height of coolness. I rarely appear in photos when I’m not behind dark lens, . My own ufo was once owned by Elvis Presley. My aunt once knitted me an A team jumper with MrT. Sadly she knitted his face white as she had no brown wool. Off to motorize my giant banana, Colin Firth eat your heart out

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
                1. The Vintage Toy Advertiser Post author

                  Oh no. I’ve heard that tale before from others with parents on a clearing out binge. Got to hurt. I sold all my Star Wars and Britains soldier collection to a younger kid on the estate so I could buy records. Probably a fair decision at the time, but now I don’t even have the records as I ended up selling them too. Hm.
                  I guess the moral is hide everything from your parents and never sell anything?

                  Liked by 1 person

                  Reply
  4. Pingback: Precinct1313’s Top Ten Favourite Feisty Female Fighting Furies… | precinct1313

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