Tag Archives: that murderous internet

Ten misread internet instructions that prove I am a serial killer at heart

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D. 2013. Japan.

Or so Wooof reckons… The cheeky office cat suggested I might have serial killer tendencies due to my occasional habit of misreading text, replacing innocent words with a terrifying synonym, and adding murderous instructions onto the end of online mission statements!

Pfft. Wooof’s a fine one to talk… he’s killed more than enough mice, birds, moths and garden frogs to put Ed Gein’s cat to shame, if Ed Gein ever had a cat, that is.

Dear readers, trust me when I tell you I don’t have serial killer tendencies – just poor eyesight and cheap reading glasses, and a fondness for Halloween.

Yippee!! Only 200 days to go till Halloween!

Image courtesy of days.to


You misheard it here first!

10 misread internet instructions that prove I am a serial killer at heart…

  1. eBay – Don’t forget to leave feedback for your victims.
  2. Email – You have twelve undead messages.
  3. Privacy – Your privacy is important to us, which is why we are recording you undressing.
  4. Tabs – You have multiple open stabs. Do you wish to create stab groups?
  5. Facebook – We know what you did last summer (even if you aren’t on Facebook).
  6. Blogging sites – Proudly prowled by WordPress.
  7. Virtual Assistants – You have severley disabled Alexa.
  8. Defunct Social Media – In MySpace no one can hear you scream.
  9. Twitter – Find people you know (drug them, blackmail them, kill them).
  10. YouTube – Create a personal chainsaw. Fill out the details to name your new chainsaw and verify your account.

As always, thanks for looking for innocent victims to chop up according to the voices in your head  🙂