Happy new year vintage mates! Sorry we’re late and sorry we got the wrong year, but Wooof and I just got back from time travelling in 1982 watching Prince recording 1999, then we got lost in 1962 and found a cool book of poetry from W.B. Yeats, and then we got tangled up in a vintage space war between aliens and robots disputing a 3 billion year old moon made of chedder cheese and denim!
2017 in review. Bolt by bolt.
Wooof and I like to celebrate our small achievements here at TVTA. In 2017 we gained more than 2.5 million followers, 2 billion likes, received numerous nominations such as the Lobster Award, the Good Morning I’m Hungry Award, the Time Travelling Companions of Gannow Award, the Friendly Blogger Looking to Borrow A Few Bucks Award, the Sunshine And Scattered Showers Award, and we were also Freshly Parsed 42 times!
Why, that’s enough achievements to be able to view the Great Wall of China from space with a pair of 1980s dinosaur explorer toy binoculars, cold enough to freeze penguins to a lampost, and loud enough to distract excitable puppies when used in conjunction with a sonic dog whistle and My Little Kitty glove puppet!
So what does it all mean, this TVTA thing? And do we have adverts for it?
Well, a quick browse on the interweb reveals that TVTA actually means… Threat and Vulnerablity Testing and Assessment
TVTA also means… Thermal Vacuum Test Article
and TVTA also means … Technical and Vocational Training Act
and Triple Vaginal Triple Anal … WOAH! Stop right there Wooof!
Where the heck did that one come from?
This is a family-friendly blog showcasing vintage toys!
Suffice to say, there is no mention of our humble blog anywhere in acronym land, so Wooof has been frantically retro-adding TVTA to the tags of all our old posts like a cat out of hell!
Go Wooof, you fantastic cat you!
And now, the TVTA 2017 awards sponsored by Stephen Spookberg’s Speak and Spell Time Machine Soda-Stream Maker (includes FREE collectable ‘owls of the world’ and ‘dragon botherer’ cigarette cards while stocks last) …
Our best missing item from 2017: Has anyone seen our Elizabethan tape machine?
The 2017 Conquering Our Ridiculous Fear Of Clowns Award
We thought we were doing great. The hypnotherapy sessions had been positive. The yoga was beneficial. We were no longer afraid to leave the office. And Wooof was off the meds. Then these two paperworks landed on our desk yesterday, and now we’re right back where we started. Gah!
The 2017 TVTA Best Fashion Statement Award: Cheese tee-shirts
The 2017 TVTA Best Unfortunately-Named Throat Pastel Award
The 2017 TVTA Best Hulk Recreation And Leisure Award
The TVTA Best Adverts Of 2017 Award
Thanks for coming to the awards! Sincere thanks to everyone who has read TVTA this past year. May 2018 be a happy and fruitful year for you and yours 🙂