Happy New Yeats! Party like it’s 1999, in 1962!

Prince Magazine Special. 1985. Australia.

Happy new year vintage mates! Sorry we’re late and sorry we got the wrong year, but Wooof and I just got back from time travelling in 1982 watching Prince recording 1999, then we got lost in 1962 and found a cool book of poetry from W.B. Yeats, and then we got tangled up in a vintage space war between aliens and robots disputing a 3 billion year old moon made of chedder cheese and denim!

Anyway, we’re back now, so happy New Year one and all, and may all your dreams come to fruition!

Magic! She-Ra: Princess of Power. Shadow Weaver’s Magic Mirror. Ladybird. UK. 1986.

Here is the Yeats book of poetry, plus a poem of my own – in honour of someone who I dearly wish time would have allowed us a longer acquaintance.

W.B. Yeats Selected Poetry. St Martin’s Library. UK. 1962. Huguette’s copy.

Poem: Coffee with Huguette

Robber Death the inevitable thief, that hooded-faced reaper with grinning teeth –
If I’d have known he was coming so soon for Huguette,
I’d have ordered more coffee, and broken more bread.
If I’d have had just a wee bit more time to get to know Huguette,
I’m certain we would have shared lines of verse on paper
As blank as the faces that would watch us titter
At a table on a terrace in a city that would suit us.

If I’d have known… speaking in English tongues wrapped around French bread,
Coffee and caramel and sugar and biscuits,
Naming flowers and poets and abstract artists,
Naming food fit for queens and peasants and paupers –
From the coast of San Diego, Pau to Cork, Birmingham to the coast of Majorca.

Imagine my grief, Huguette, at the hands of Robber Death,
Breaking and entering and taking as he pleased; my grief –
A mere puddle of tears, compared to the wretched loss felt by your mother
Your son and daughter, and your grandson who you held in your hospital bed.
Your family wasn’t so much robbed – they were ruthlessly plundered.

Yet, Huguette, there are so many books of yours stood about, on shelves,
On desks, in funny old places, with their hidden treasures of curious bookmarks,
Clippings, photos, and your charming sketches – and always your name…
Inked on some page, top left, top right, doesn’t matter where, but you were there,
On that page, one time, in time, marking time, when you had the time,
Time, as we all believe we possess in teeming abundance, laid out before us,
Like sprawling sagas and epics penned for us.

If I’d have known… but, ah, too late, and now I wait for Robber Death to come for me
If he must, and in this moment of pity and my time-weary grief.
I shall not dread those creaking hinges as he pushes at my door,
Nor fear any red-faced gurning demons he sends to blast my losses; let them howl on,
His spiteful banshees and shrieking angels, for I will smite them with five good words
Sent from a beating heart: you will never rob my dreams.

Waiter… table for two on the terrace, please. Make that two coffees.
Ah. If I’d have known, dear Huguette, if only I’d have known,
We would have stayed all afternoon, and till the sun went down.

French coffee advert. Used as a bookmark by Huguette.

This book belongs to… Huguette.

L’Irlande article. Used as a bookmark by Huguette.

Magic! A.E. Waite tarot.


Post dedicated to Huguette Laporte.

Words and poem by the editor.


 

TVTA means…

2017 in review. Bolt by bolt.

Wooof and I like to celebrate our small achievements here at TVTA. In 2017 we gained more than 2.5 million followers, 2 billion likes, received numerous nominations such as the Lobster Award, the Good Morning I’m Hungry Award, the Time Travelling Companions of Gannow Award, the Friendly Blogger Looking to Borrow A Few Bucks Award, the Sunshine And Scattered Showers Award, and we were also Freshly Parsed 42 times!

Why, that’s enough achievements to be able to view the Great Wall of China from space with a pair of 1980s dinosaur explorer toy binoculars, cold enough to freeze penguins to a lampost, and loud enough to distract excitable puppies when used in conjunction with a sonic dog whistle and My Little Kitty glove puppet!

So what does it all mean, this TVTA thing? And do we have adverts for it?

Well, a quick browse on the interweb reveals that TVTA actually means… Threat and Vulnerablity Testing and Assessment

TVTA also means… Thermal Vacuum Test Article

and TVTA also means … Technical and Vocational Training Act

and Triple Vaginal Triple Anal … WOAH! Stop right there Wooof!

Where the heck did that one come from?

This is a family-friendly blog showcasing vintage toys!

Suffice to say, there is no mention of our humble blog anywhere in acronym land, so Wooof has been frantically retro-adding TVTA to the tags of all our old posts like a cat out of hell!

Go Wooof, you fantastic cat you!

And now, the TVTA 2017 awards sponsored by Stephen Spookberg’s Speak and Spell Time Machine Soda-Stream Maker (includes FREE collectable ‘owls of the world’ and ‘dragon botherer’ cigarette cards while stocks last) …

Our best missing item from 2017: Has anyone seen our Elizabethan tape machine?

Has anyone seen our Elizabethan tape machine? We seem to have misplaced it the last time we time travelled to 1955. If you find it, please return it to our usual address at TVTA Towers, France, Earth. Thanks in advance!

The 2017 Conquering Our Ridiculous Fear Of Clowns Award

We thought we were doing great. The hypnotherapy sessions had been positive. The yoga was beneficial. We were no longer afraid to leave the office. And Wooof was off the meds. Then these two paperworks landed on our desk yesterday, and now we’re right back where we started. Gah!

The 2017 TVTA Best Fashion Statement Award: Cheese tee-shirts

The 2017 TVTA Best Unfortunately-Named Throat Pastel Award

The 2017 TVTA Best Hulk Recreation And Leisure Award

The TVTA Best Adverts Of 2017 Award

Thanks for coming to the awards! Sincere thanks to everyone who has read TVTA this past year. May 2018 be a happy and fruitful year for you and yours 🙂