TVTA Update – thank you!

First. I’d like to give BIG thanks and hugs to the donors who kindly helped out funding subscriptions for The Vintage Toy Advertiser into 2019. I thanked you via email but wanted to say it publicly too. The site is good to go, and for next year I will ensure funds have been saved in advance to prevent this hiccup happening again. My bad this year, but your good. You guys rock!

Second. I have another request. Wait, please don’t throw all your garbage and bottles at me just yet – it’s not another call for your hard-earned cash… it’s for a petition, and my request is aimed exclusively at my readers who are either British-born or who reside in Britain.

Allow me to use a nasty swear word for a moment: “BREXIT”.

Many of you will know about the blight of Brexit cast across the island of Britain but which also affects the rest of Europe. Many of you will have already suffered my occasional rants here (I try to keep TVTA pop culture fun and not get political, but sometimes you have to use your voice for what matters to you the most no matter what!).

There is this incredible, record-breaking, UK Parliament petition available to sign right now, calling to revoke Article 50 (the means to cancel Brexit). It is currently standing at a staggering 5 million signatures! I’ll say that again – 5 million signatures! You can sign it here: https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/241584

At the risk of annoying any Brexiter readers I may have, I urge you to consider signing it. And even you are a Brexiter, you gotta admit the whole Brexit thing is a massive, steaming, stinker of a shit sandwich that no one wants to eat, right?

Personally, I’d be happy with a second referendum – with all options put on the table so everyone can vote in good knowledge, now that we are all armed with the facts and realities that were previously distorted. However, signing the petition to revoke the whole debacle – which I’d be happy with too 🙂 sends a strong message to Government that “the will of the people” is not just about the will of the ones who voted to Leave.

I love Europe. And I want to stay. Here’s that link again: https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/241584

Remainingly yours,

Ford

Poem: Idles when idle

There I was, propped up in bed, a thousand thoughts forming
in the holiday of my head, mask off, headphones on, YouTube,
streaming, dreaming, coming to terms with a recently-deceased aunt
who had trouble breathing. Yes I loved her so, she helped me find sense
in the mess of teenage years, she gave me shelter from the helter
and the skelter of life’s tests, used to tell me: follow your dreams.
Loved her, loved her so, even though she voted Leave.
She’ll never know I’m that close to needing a visa to attend her funeral
in ruled Britannia, God save the Titanic, and all who sink with her.

On the bed was where I met them, mask off, headphones on,
finding sense in a present tense, correct, this is why, this is why
you never see your father cry. Council flats and country piles,
apartments in France – renewed my passport before it turned the blue
they want to make us feel, and act and march in their same shoes.
This is why, this is why, my heart swells with pride, not theirs but mine.
Idles your Colossus is a bridge between my republic and my septic isle,
septic minds, this is why, I point to freedom which is mine,
which is yours, which is ours, it’s called sharing, and it rhymes with caring.

Gone past caring? Don’t give up. Don’t stay down. Get back up.
There I was, propped up on the bed, time for a tea and something on bread.
And there they were, my family, watching The Voice on French TV,
Happily yabbering away in French, and me, in English, bemoaning the lack
of decent tea bags, and the way in which no matter how hard you always work
you’re still broke by the end of the month. Back and forth in two languages,
add Frenglish, Brummie accents, mais, ne t’inquiète pas, pas de problème,
je parle français, oui, avec un accent merdique, c’est pour ça,
c’est pour ça, mon clavier est AZERTY et pas QWERTY.

And this is why, this is why, I love myself and always try
to send the love and give the light, to cry when I like and fight the good fight.
Your tee-shirt, it said: Voltaire. I noticed you wearing it the other day,
got me thinking it did, that tee-shirt, and slogans in general,
Choose Life, Frankie Says, Make Love Not War, #MeToo #Remain, Idles on Tour.
Fudge-packing Crack-smoking Satan-worshipping motherfucker Nirvana,
that I wore on my back in days when my aunty wasn’t a Brexiter.
Wouldn’t mind now: Fairy Remoaning Snowflake Traitor Enemy of the People…
see their faces when I tell them I don’t like barriers, and I dream in European.





Poem by the editor. Thanks to Idles.

The Nutella Poem part two

Qui Est-Ce? / Guess Who?

Hypocrisy

Nutella Nigella, your Pater has audacity far thicker than blood

Mixed with water and palm oil and gathered in the gutter

Such hypocrisy to mutter about tiresome hoops

Of bureaucracy he may have to haul his arse through

Watches his nuts as he jumps, palm-oiled and bright red as a propaganda bus

That suggests money saved from Europe could go to the NHS

Oh whore-brandy, weak scarlet-mouthed rock shandy-dandy

Piss-taker extraordinaire, serpent-tongue brass shiner

Slop-deliverer of rank duplicity, Baboon-arsed quackery

And slime-lipped pecksniffery of the highest merit

Utter Cant. May your carte de séjour receive no rubber stamp

And please purchase your Nutella from the Britain you wanted

No single market nuts, free movement or customs union trust

And enough forms to fill in to make even a French person blush

(Love never ends) We’ll always be together

Together in Brexit dreams


Words by the editor.


 

Poem: The Joker, the Snow, and the Beast from the East

Editor’s note: This poem is currently away on a top secret mission and will return later.

Editor’s note: This poem is currently away on a top secret mission and will return later.


Poem and photos by the editor.

Toy images by TVTA. Poster and adverts scanned by TVTA from own collection. Batman and Joker copyright DC.