Curiouser and curiouser… the Bburago HAT Catalogue 1976, starring:

“The Curious Case of the Random, Everyday Objects Superimposed Next to the Cars!”

… and nothing to do with hats, though it is a little mad, Alice…

… mad objects like coins, pasta, moon rocks, pencil shavings, Andorran flag bottle tops, and more! Maybe some of our Italian visitors can help out with the significance of these photographed objects placed next to drawings of cars? Or will they be as nonplussed as us? Non? What’s Italian for ‘no’? The catalogue in question is Italian, a Bburago HAT (Hobbies And Toys) 1976 N°2 edition. Perhaps catalogue N°1 had similar designs? The objects seem to be ‘hobby’ or ‘food’ related? Just how are these everyday items related to toy cars??

So many questions, I know, I know! Let’s move quickly to the scans which show some truly wonderful artwork of the models available by Bburago at the time. As was often typical with 1970s advertising, design teams didn’t photograph their product they hired artists to draw it!


The cover… already you see weird objects, but not so noticeable as the images are tiny…


Inside… it all begins in a quite orderly fashion with a very cool cross section of a die cast car…


And then… Bam! Straight down the rabbit hole… it’s random object time… 

(with bonus FREE pun-and-nonsense commentary from our editing team!!)

1.

… A serious car, serious coinage!

Coins!


2.

Please put the lid back on the toothpaste when you’ve finished brushing your teeth!

Toothpaste lid!


3.

Somebody call me a thimble!

Thimble!


4.

Excuse me, officer, I seem to have lost my marbles!

Marbles!

There are others…

Think I’ve got most of them…

(click images to go bigger)

5 – 22


23.

Bottle tops. The nearest one appears to be the Andorran flag?

Bottle tops!


24.

The pen is mightier than the police car?

Pen nibs!


25.

Back to school. Pencil shavings!

Pencil shavings!

At school, in your pencil case, you were likely to have a cheap, plastic sharpener, red, yellow or blue or something; if you were lucky, you’d have one of those sturdy, metal, technical drawing sharpeners; some had sharpeners that were moulded inside see-through containers into which the shavings could be collected and emptied later; others had novelty promotional sharpeners for cartoon, TV and film characters.

Then there was the ‘beast-of-all-sharpeners’… the one that belonged to the entire class, usually bolted onto the end of the teacher’s desk – a sinister-looking device that could grind down three different-sized pencils at a time, automatic or crank handle-operated, when in motion it sounded like a derailed steam train driven over a cliff by Godzilla, and this monster of a pencil-sharpener, make no mistake, could easily rip off your fingers, and the entire lower arm of some of the smaller pupils!


26.

Decorative beads or tongue-tingling sweets?? No fear, we’re not taste-testing them, they’ve been out of their packaging since 1976!

Decorative beads or tongue-tingling sweets??

Calls down to archives: “Wooof… got some tasty new treats for you to test out, dear cat(muhuhahaha)…”
Wooof: “But you’ve already tested them yourself, dear editor.”
Me: “I have?”
Wooof: “Yes, what do you think it was that I sprinkled on top of your cappuccino this morning?”
Me (going green about the gills): “Uuumph!”


27.

… And finally… a back pages questionnaire, for kids, in Italy, in 1976.


Thanks for identifying random objects with us :) If you know the identity of any of the mystery objects in today's post please let us know in the comments. Likewise, if you have any idea what is going on, about anything at all really, ever, we're here, and we'd like to know too! This post has been brought to you by TVTA random objects and old school schools of old school school stories.

 

Space cats and space editors: it’s a space-race chase fast getaway 555 Gauloises muscleman spaceman Non-toy ad Tuesday nonsensical vintage space trip with TVTA!

Ha, and it’s not even Tuesday!! But allow me to tell you how it all began…

It all began with Wooof wanting one of those Bunny ice creams. You know, those crazy-looking popsicles from 1983 France…

pifg-741-1983-bunny-glaces-miko-post

So I was about to take Wooof to the local ice cream parlour for a Bunny when we were hoodwinked into purchasing a Rotaplane … well the advert did say “the sky’s the limit” … but how they lied, those cunning vintage advertisers! Because the sky wasn’t the limit at all, and soon Wooof and I were travelling into the far reaches of the galaxy!

“But I only wanted a Bunny ice cream!” cried Wooof.

“Sorry, old cat,” I replied, “Looks like we have no choice now but to ride this Rotaplane spaceship to the stars and back.”

rotaplane-swweekly-1978-uk

Light-hours passed, when suddenly Wooof and I were mistakenly mistaken by mistake for intergalactic crimelord crooks Melostar and Moco… Grrrr, Wooof looks nothing like a monkey, and no way is my hair that shocking pink colour. It’s actually green.

moco-et-melostar

Dammit, it was time for a cigarette… mild but not meek, at times like this, only a 555 will do!

555-cigarettes-uk-film-review-july-1979

No, actually, give us something classier… something with a cool ad campaign… like a car looking like it’s driving down from space…  how about Gauloises?

matal-hurlant-70-noel-special-1981-gauloises-post

But wait, we don’t even smoke!

Me: I think wooof does smoke actually.

Wooof: He smokes too.

Okay, it must have been all that space dust messing about with our minds, because before we knew it inter-planetary iron bar-bending, pec-popping superstar muscleman Charles Atlas was trying to sell us one of his expensive vintage protein-powered buttock-clenching illustrated books. Impressed by his statement “Let me prove I can make you a new man” we broke out our wallets and purses and handed over our remaining bucks.

charles-atlas-ghostly-haunts-1976-us

Then Wooof made an interesting point, followed by a demand for a full refund: “What about proving you can make me a new cat?” he asked Charles Atlas.

“Hey, Charles,” said I,  “Wooof is right, you can’t make a man out of a cat. And if you can’t, then you ain’t making a man out of me!”

It was at this point that Charles began to lose his temper, and Wooof and I knew we were in for a fight. So we left Charles (in a bloody, beaten mess on the floor – ha, not really , we absolutely ran for our freakin’ lives!) and we boarded our Rotaplane spaceship as fast as we could and sped away!

We were then intercepted by a school space bus full of 1980s-type alien children playing with 1980s-type alien toys. The kids insisted that we took a photo of them to show to the people back home on Earth what 1980s space children looked like. So we did. Here is the photo. Enjoy.

pif-716_-group-toy-shot_1982-post

“Greetings children of planet Earth. In space it is Christmas everyday!”

Soon, Wooof and I were hurtling through the deep vintage outer limits of space, navigating the deadly Rubik’s Cube black hole and the Treehouse Family asteroid belt. It wasn’t long before we encountered Galaxy Rangers trying to flog us some Tang from 1978. Hey, move aside Captain, we’re on a mission and we don’t need no Tang…

galaxy-rangers-pifg-1988

Then we met Flash Gordon and some of his friends. Flash wasn’t trying to sell us Tang, he was just showing off on the cover of a 1980 issue of French comic magazine Pif Gadget.

pif-gadget-612-1980-flash-gordon-cover-post

However, Ming the Merciless was showing off – Ming was selling a case of bootleg cassettes of Wooof’s favourite band Duran Duran. So we bought the lot with some cash we found stuffed down the back of the sofa on the Rotaplane – knowing full well we could more than double our money by re-selling them on the durrrty rimm side of Betelgeuse to Simon Le-Bon fans. Don’t worry, Wooof, you get to keep a copy for yourself and spend the money on as many Bunny ice creams as you like! (cue one happy cat).

Ha, looks like Wooof found inspiration too!

Wooof in Flash Gordon costume being all happy coz he gets to keep one bootleg Duran Duran tape and sell all the others to buy ice cream.

Sadly, Wooof and I never did get chance to flog our magnetic tapes at Betelgeuse. For reasons completely unknown to us, we found ourselves hurtling, inexplicably, back to planet Earth… and our Rotaplane – which frankly was shit but by this time we had actually grown to love, had mysteriously changed into an Atari 2600 spaceship with Wooof and I strapped inside while all around us – in space – the most amazing trippy things were going on, like tennis and the stabbing of large reptiles and Formula 1.

atari-2600-pifg-1988-post

Finally, we arrived back on planet Earth… Phew! What a trip. And when we looked at the calendar in the office six years had passed!

“Crikey,” said Wooof. “The public library cops are going to throw away the keys this time! Wooof was right – our library books were already fifteen years overdue as it was! Both the cat and I were exceptionally tardy when it came to returning books. “What will we do?” said Wooof.

“I think we’d better make a fast getaway,” I said.

“Not back into space!” moaned Wooof.

“Goodness no,” said I, “let’s go to Monte Carlo instead!” Outside, I had spotted a vintage advert showing fast cars and fast shoes. Pirelli Pitstops! “Come on, Wooof. let’s go! Last one to Monaco is a squashed space tomato!”

pirelli-pit-stops-eagle-1983

The End

Brought to you by TVTA Non-toy ad Tuesday nonsensical vintage productions and Rotaplane space travel. Thank you for flying with us. Have a safe and pleasant journey.

Non-toy ad Tuesday: Office Cats, Harmony Hair Cats, Jawbreakers, Bubbly Bubble Gum, Yamaha Keyboards, Weetabix and Texan Bar

What’s gotten into our office cat Wooof? He’s dashing about the TVTA scanning room like some creature possessed, making strange, garbled mewling sounds. What are you trying to say Wooof? Well you can take that rolled-up vintage advert out of your mouth for a start, no wonder you can’t speak! Oh, look… that’s why Wooof is so excited, he’s just found the first advert for this month’s Non-toy ad Tuesday segment… it’s the Harmony hair colour ad with the kitten on it. Blimey, we’ve been looking for that for ages. What’s that Wooof? Yes, you’re absolutely right; never take kittens into the shower, and always remember to keep them well away from dangerous hair products! Thanks Wooof.


UK. Film Review. 1979.

UK. Film Review. 1979.


UK. Eagle and Tiger. 1985.

UK. Eagle and Tiger. 1985.


UK. Star Wars Weekly. 1978.

UK. Star Wars Weekly. 1978.


UK. Eagle and Tiger. 1985.

UK. Eagle and Tiger. 1985.


UK. Eagle and Tiger. 1985.

UK. Eagle and Tiger. 1985.


UK. Star Wars Weekly. 1978.

UK. Star Wars Weekly. 1978.