SomEone  eLse’S  countRy,  SomEone eLSe’s CriME

Jacques Richez. Colour trap.


I’m linking up with Denise at Girlie On The Edge Blog, where she hosts Six Sentence Stories, and everyone is invited to write a story, poem or article constructed of six sentences based on a cue word given.

This week’s cue word is Resistance


 

SomEone   eLse’S   countRy,   SomEone   eLSe’s   CriME

Proudman L. had never murdered a soul in his life, nor tried to, nor threatened to… okay, sure, beaten a few up, yes, plenty: a lousy drug dealer once, a filthy pimp, a mouthy biker, his ex-boss (three ex-bosses to be exact), a gas station clerk, four liquor store owners, four mechanics, a dozen or so doormen at various bars, a professional hockey player, a scientologist, numerous racists and queer-bashers, and his own father – that drunken, sick bastard.

And these were just the ones he remembered.

Proudman wasn’t proud of what he had done with his fists over the years, but neither was he ashamed; he felt grounded in his belief that sometimes people got what was coming to them – and standing at six feet ten inches tall, and broad enough to take up two seats on a bus, Proudman usually gave what was deserved with little resistance.

So what was coming for him?

What had he done so bad to deserve being locked up in a police cell in a country he had never even visited before?

For sure it wasn’t because he tried to murder some people called Henry S. and Iris S. – hell, no, above all things, and let’s be brutal here… things right now were as crazy as the craziness in crazyland on a crazy night, Proudman was certain he was no murderer.

***



Editor’s note: the story SomEone eLse’S countRy, SomEone eLSe’s CriME is an extract from my WIP gothic ghost novel, and features the character Proudman L. from Vancouver, Canada, who awakes one morning to find himself in a jail in London, England, accused of attempted double murder.


Thank you for breaking out of chokey with us 🙂 

27 thoughts on “SomEone  eLse’S  countRy,  SomEone eLSe’s CriME

  1. Dude!*

    *compliment on your Six which has that thing, whatever it is, ‘that thing is’… I might say charisma (thinking of the power of one of the characters in my Six this week) but charisma is, somehow, too passive a quality, it’s something about the level of engagement-osity** which is that quality when something has…. probably be better to think in terms of music… some music has it, those songs that you know from the first time you hear it that is is something special… (one interesting example: first time I heard Living Colour play ‘Cult of Personalty’ on some Saturday night show… it was clear this was not ‘ordinary good’)
    …ok, getting warmer, no, ‘voice’ isn’t it, all of us, at least here in Sixville have reached the stage of having a distinctive voice in our writing… but there are voices and there are voices

    …wait, is this the first comment? damn! sorry man, shouldn’t do a rant in a first position comment,
    …better I should come back later when I’m not mirroring your rather impressive style in the above storyette.

    err Good Six

    ** not a ‘real’ word

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for the good words Mr Clark, and good thoughts comparing that essence of writing which is unique to us all to music… you’re bang on about the Living Colour tune, something just ‘right there right now’ about it and them too, the band. I saw them live and they were brilliant.

      Like

  2. It’s a little after midnight, my eyes secreting need-sleep glue, lids barely resisting and I’m thinking – “damn. what an excellent Six. How the hell do I get my brain to form the proper sentences to offer insightful feedback?” And then I scrolled down to see Clark’s comment. I can borrow from him, right? lol
    Your opening sentence brings the reader right to the edge of their seat, completely forgetting the jumbo tub of popcorn they’d just bought at the concession stand. Words, sentences.. they align like stars.
    Good one, V.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Great six. I especially like the rhythm, going from a detailed explanation of the deeds of the character and then cutting it short in the next sentence with a wry comment. Proudman L. wins the prize for self-justification. Wonderful story with a crazy character.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hey Words Whisperer, the enchantment is alive and strong!!!
    I’ve told you before and I will tell you again, the music of the words is for me the trademark if your craftsmanship…
    Clark in the first comment did a fine job cutting through the layers .

    Well done mate!
    (Tik tok…Adagio) 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much my friend. Glad the music comes through like this. Proudman L’s song is one of tragedy and a final freedom fought for (a bit like the subjects in our recent project!).
      Taking him from the context of the novel and putting him briefly inside a 6SS makes me realise suddenly that despite his stature and strength he is as vulnerable as a child, and is easily exploited by others.

      Proudman L. for the win! 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • Wow, that’s so cool and interesting the translation like that!
        You know, I nicked the name ‘Proudman’ from the Welsh side of my family history going back 5 generations. Also discovered other Welsh family surnames: Thomas, Griffiths, Allen, Scott, and Lawrence.
        The English side of my family are all from Birmingham – Peaky Fkn Blinders lolol 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • We did haven’t e the same starting point, cause I was thinking how the name would be in Gaelic…maybe you will be able to dig out more connections.
        Peaky Fkn Blinders!!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oh I feel for you, same here, writing properly is hard, see it trough! Please, please do! ( I’m at a writing class at the mo, it’s painful) You don’t need the extras; you’re already there

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thanks so much for the words of encouragement, they mean a lot and help enormously. I will see it through because it’s a passion and a love.
        Your writing class sounds good, and being in the company of others for inspiration, tips and feedback is priceless.

        Like

      • Thank you for your kind words! A writing class comes with the pain of showing it to everyone! In a way we do here anyways but people are generally kind enough not to comment on every word … it’s been a rollercoaster, a kind one, but a real eye opener. You grow with your tasks … but occasionally we might all need this to grow. It may sound meh but writing comes from writing and we get better with every word, right?

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, you have to keep on writing to grow, and write something every single day if you can, even if its just a blog entry, comments, daft poem, and work on your editing. Almost as important is to read as widely as possible – though for me as I’m working on a novel I won’t read other any novels right now (they just get in the way) but poems and short stories yes. I find watching a TV series can be inspiring for writing too – seeing something visual makes me think how to try and write something visual, like buildings and landscapes and nature.
        I’m going on and on here, but because I love writing 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you for your kind words! I am writing every day but mostly product descriptions that are SEO friendly … This has nothing to do with pretty writing and in my class the instructor suggested to me to write poems to break out of this. [Shivers] So I gave it a go and magically, all meaningless words suddenly don’t have any space 😉 It’s time for me to mix things up!!!

        Liked by 1 person

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