Six Sentence Stories: The straight line of footprints

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Walkaway Fairy. Artwork by Ford, TVTA.

I’m linking up with Denise at Girlie On The Edge Blog, where she hosts Six Sentence Stories, and everyone is invited to write a story or poem constructed of six sentences based on a cue word given.

This week’s cue word is line

 

 

Editor’s note: the following is an extract from a larger work in progress, a ghost story, and features the characters Henry and Marling. You can read a previous extract here.

The straight line of footprints

Henry went over to the sole window of Doctor Lessing’s office, and when he looked with his sole eye he spied the water fountain on the lawn where he had arranged to meet Marling tomorrow at noon; beyond this lay the sprawling avenues and groves of many trees, and the patients wandering the grounds – twinned by their long shadows which fell about them on the grass like phasmids and mantises from the sun’s late afternoon toil.

‘Not a bad view eh?’ Inspector Du Maurier said, joining Henry at the window. ‘If you enjoy looking at crazy people that is.’

‘How do you know they’re crazy?’ said Henry

‘How do you they’re not? Tell me, how’s the eye?’

Henry ran a finger across the lower seam of his eyepatch and replied, ‘There is no eye.’

Du Maurier stared at the one-eyed Henry then looked away, his gaze falling to the same fountain Henry had been looking at in monovision, his detective eyes – even from the second floor of Doctor Lessing’s office – not failing to see the straight line of footprints embedded in the mud, which led from the fountain and into the hospice, as though the ghost of Marling was deliberately leaving clues.

21 thoughts on “Six Sentence Stories: The straight line of footprints”

  4. “…on the grass like phasmids and mantises from the sun’s late afternoon toil.”
    Dude!*

    Where is Jherek Carnelian when you need him?**

    *compliment. not only on the most excellent imagery, but the slightly alien, decidedly …creepy vibe.

    ** Forgive the shameless fictional character name-dropping. In my defense, it was your drawing at the top of the post that triggered the distant memory.

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  6. “patients wandering the grounds – twinned by their long shadows which fell about them on the grass like phasmids and mantises from the sun’s late afternoon toil.”
    Love the poetry of it.
    Your Sixes never fail to increase my vocabulary! And I must say, this second excerpt has cast a net on my curiosity. Keep working on this so that one day, we may read it in its entirety. In the meantime, we’ll all have to settle for the morsels, 6 at a time 😀

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    • Thanks so much, D. The line you quoted is one of my favourites of the whole story.
      It would be a dream come true for me if one day the finished story was published, and it’s almost there. Success with poems and short stories so far has been rewarding, but the novel is the big one for me 🙂

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  9. Intriguing story, makes you wonder what the crime was that brought Inspector Du Maurier to Dr Lessing’s office, what significance the fountain and why it draws everyone’s attention?
    However I can solve the riddle of the line of footprints…the patients are really the Sand People of Tatooine! They walk in single file to hide their numbers, they’re easily scared but will come back with reinforcements!
    Keep up the great work and stay safe.

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