The French seem to have a love affair with the statement “What the fuck!” and say it often, at least the French people I know do. It always brings me a smile to hear them say this in certain situations of consternation. The advert above is a genuine ad found in a national free newspaper from 2015.

So it is with a smile that I dedicate this post to all “what the fuckery” everywhere during our current pandemic, and in honour of our dear Covid-19.

What the fuck, parks and beaches!

The selfish person’s pledge to social distancing rules:

• I will go to the park or the beach whenever I like for my picnic and sunbathing needs. I will travel to my second home in the country for my holiday then return when my holiday is finished. I will do as I please because I have human rights and the sun is shining.

Depending on which part of the world you live in and what social distancing rules apply to you, the above pledge may resonate with the behaviours you are seeing from some fellow citizens.

An interesting article to read on multiple issues surrounding the morality of enjoying your park life during a pandemic can be found here: ‘Can I sunbathe in the park?’ is now a deep moral question.

What the fuck, super rich people!

You may have read the news story of the private jet holidaymakers forced by French police to fly back home after failing to claim their luxury spot in the sun in the south of France. What a waste of police time and jet fuel. It’s no real surprise to know that the super rich are still as eager to jump in their private jets and helicopters to seek out sunshine just as much as average family Joe Bloggs are in their cars zooming down the autoroute with suitcases packed. Some things never change on a Bank Holiday weekend in France – even in a pandemic…

But what the fuck! Please stay the fuck at home!

There is no easy solution to the problem of people wanting to enjoy sunny parks and beaches during this pandemic other than please stay at home and be patient. Parks and beaches will still be there the next time around. I don’t have a garden, but do have a small terrace to catch some sun. Unfortunately, many don’t have even this small luxury. But you can still go out and feel the sun shining. Walk, jog, cycle. Just don’t gather and risk spreading the virus. It’s only a small sacrifice for hopefully only a short time. Lives are at stake.

For us, in France, choices regarding parks and beaches are made very easy… why? All our parks and beaches are closed. Good. Additionally, our 83 Département has recently introduced curfews. Good. And still, if you go out for essential needs you have to show papers. Well, good.

I’m no fan of these hard measures (what the fuck, what sane person ever would be?), but they’re put into place to help stop the spread of a virus we have no previous knowledge of, nor treatment for, nor vaccine against.

The reasons parks and beaches are closed in France are for the very same reasons sports stadiums, cinemas, restaurants and bars are closed – to stop people clustering together and spreading the virus… to prevent the collapse of health services… to help keep people alive… to help keep health professionals alive – the very people who are trying to keep everyone affected by this virus alive.

What the duck, holiday people!

To the holiday makers and tourists who come to my heavily touristic region during this period of holiday sunshine in our current pandemic, I say to you:

• are you aware you may bring Covid-19 with you and spread it here?
• are you aware you may contract Covid-19 here and take it back home with you?
• are you aware of the risk you are taking in creating extra burdens on a struggling health service?
• are you aware that the already scarce food you are buying while on holiday is meant for the locals and workers?

I hope you reconsider your holiday for another time, like I will be doing. Or would be doing – as it stands, all my leave is cancelled until further notice. I don’t even have the luxury right now of planning a holiday, let alone taking one.

What the fuck, bread!

The last two times I have been to the shops I didn’t find bread. Why? Are people still panic buying it? Hoarding it? Thousands of home freezers packed with the stuff? Is there trouble with truck deliveries? Are the recent holiday makers buying it all? It’s not just bread, but flour and burger buns and hotdog rolls are also scarce.

We managed to get in line for a supermarket home delivery (7 day wait). We ordered some bread. When the delivery came, there was no bread, it had run out, and we got refunded for that, plus other items that were no longer in stock when we first ordered.

I won’t complain too much. There are people in a million more times worse the trouble I’m in for lack of a sandwich.

Reader's star letter:

“What the fuck TVTA! Where are all the new ads and pop culture goodies you usually publish at a decent rate? We want our vintage! Not flipping poems and pandemic mutterings all the while!”

A. Disgruntled. Gannow. West Midlands.

Dear A. Disgruntled. True, since lockdown, our regular places like flea markets and vintage shops where we source our paper works are temporarily closed. Additionally, our online sources are operating with longer delivery times, added to which our postal delivery service has been reduced by half. Vintage materials have never been so lacking at the offices of TVTA… not since 2013 when Wooof accidently sent our archives to the Arctic Circle in a time travel mishap involving an electric toothbrush and 150 kg of spaghetti. Wooof hates me telling anyone about this story, but it is largely the reason why we now have a polar bear in our fridge!

What the fuck! TVTA is 9!!!

Almost forgot, we just celebrated our 9th blogging birthday!!

Here is our digital birthday card from WP…

What the fuck! That’s all for now, folks!

Thank you for keeping your distance from us and staying out of parks !!

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Some good questions answered by WHO:

• Is COVID-19 airborne?

• Is it safe to receive a package from any area where COVID-19 has been reported?

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Disclaimer. This report is meant to offer an overview of the fluid impact upon a care worker in the French medical system. No names of any persons or institutions are given, and the reportage here concerns decisions made at a French national level which is available to the public at any time. No breach of confidentiality or professional workplace standards is made or implied. Any health advice stated here is exactly the same as that given by the World Health Organization public advice pages 

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