Baby Face dolls. Galoob. 1992.
Hello, vintage mates. I’m nowhere near the stage of the definitions below, but lately some of my toy ads are freaking me out!
Pediophobia or “the fear of dolls” is a specific type of phobia characterized by irrational and intense fear or worry of dolls. Pediophobia is closely related to Automatonophobia.
Automatonophobia – morbid fear of ventriloquist’s dummies, animatronic creatures, wax statues or any inanimate object that simulates a sentient being.
I don’t know, maybe it’s just me… but am I the only one to feel disturbed by this plush bunny sitting at the edge of a pond?
Bunny Long Legs. 1983.
And how about this Dancing Sailor Doll… 100% guaranteed to pick a fight with you, even if you agree with him!
DANCING SAILOR, clockwork tinplate sailor in cloth uniform, by Lehmann, circa 1912.
Maybe it is me.
Maybe not.
Anyway, I’m not taking any chances, and neither should you!
Be warned…
Here is my top ten toy adverts that freak me out lately…
#10 – Thumbelina Dolls
Tiny terrors. The kind of dolls you might find hiding in small boxes, your purse, or when you open the fridge – sat next to the milk and yoghurt. No!
Thumbelina dolls. 1972. Ideal.
#9 – Olivia Makeup and Hair
Decapitated heads ‘messed about with’. A future serial-killer’s ideal choice of toy?
Olivia. 1979. Raynal.
#8 – Makin’ Faces Face Paints
Evil spawn of rock band KISS, or twisted, young psychopath? You choose… I’m staying well away from this child and his box of evil!
Makin’ Faces. 1980.
#7 – Garfield Plush
A perfectly normal cartoon character rendered into the stuff of nightmares by being made into a plushie, photographed with fuzzy 1980s technology and print methods, and made to sit in a tree outdoors. Beam me up, Scotty!
Garfield. 1983.
#6 – Albert Buckner Dolls
The only way to be certain of their demise is to nuke them from outer space!
Albert Buckner dolls.
#5 – Sleep Walker Bill
No way, Bill, you’re never sleeping over at mine, ever! Book a hotel already!
Sleep Walker Bill from the Babs, Randy and Bill fashion dolls line, 1960s.
#4- World’s Famous Puppet Show
I think I need therapy after seeing this!
World’s Famous Puppet Show. 1995.
#3 – Baby Face Dolls
With cheeky names like ‘So Surprised Suzy’ and ‘So Funny Natalie’ what could go wrong? They’re so cute… so adorable… so lifelike… so help me, I’m going to have to sell a kidney to pay for a good shrink just to get me through the next week!
Baby Face Dolls. 1992.
#2 – Funny Faces
Child, quickly now, move away from that abomination of a toy before it steals your soul! Tsk. Parents, what were you thinking, buying this for your child at Christmas?!
Funny Faces. 1983.
#1 – Gorilla Suit
Gorilla suit. 1983.
I know it’s only a costume, but once you’ve draped this thing over your chair for the night after a hard day’s Tarzan cosplaying, do you really want to take the chance of it nefariously coming to life and murdering you in your sleep? Call me paranoid, but you can count me out!
Did we forget to mention… Annabelle and Chucky??
Yikes!
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- Annabelle Comes Home. 2019.
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- Sideshow Collectibles Chucky. 2006.
(shiver!)
That’s all for now, folks. Thanks for looking (over your shoulder) 🙂
Suggested power song to blog to today: “Doll Parts” by Hole.
The Vintage Toy Advertiser 
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Nice! Thanks for sharing.
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Thanks. Nice toy trucks on your site!
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Sometimes I draw a picture and hang it up on my walls. Then I feel like it stares at me at night. I just recently started a blog and I was hoping I could get some more viewers or followers. https://thewalkershow.wordpress.com/
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YES! All very freaky dolls. Chucky & Bride were scarier, but the were never real dolls.
That song and video are great! When and where are they from?
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That’s the band ‘Hole’, 90s grunge alt rock, fronted by Courtney Love – Kurt Cobain’s wife. A big hit and super cool video.
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Ohhh! Thank you!
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Talking of rock music… the cards came yesterday! Love them, they’re such fun, especially the big hair ones like Poison! Thanks so much for sending them. Now, all I have to do is figure out how to make a post for them… they are so many! :)X
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That was fast! So happy you like them.
Do it in a couple or a few posts… over time.
I adore the big hairs, too. However, there are some choice pics… Alice Cooper, Ozzy, Def Leopard… I’m trying to
remember.
Whatever, they will be fab posts to add videos to! xo
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Think I already have an idea for one post for them tomorrow! Make hay, ay? 😉
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God! Most of those look scary.
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Phew. Glad it’s not just me metalman!
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I totally forgot that I owned #7 as a kid.
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Cool! I guess in real life it was a nice plushie? The photo of him sat in the tree just looks weird.
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It was never a huge favorite of mine but it was totally normal in person. It’s super creepy in that photo, though.
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I wonder if part of its creepiness is the 1980s style photography and print methods used? Gives it a misty, grainy kind of look.
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Oh definitely! And how he’s perched in that tree doesn’t help, either.
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Ooh creepy! I share a similar phobia though not of dolls but puppets and muppets! I hated the Muppet show as a kid, plus movies like Dark Crystal also freaked me out… still do!
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I don’t mind Muppets but agree some glove and string puppets can be freaky. I’m really gutted I didn’t have any ads for ventriloquist dummies – the ones of humans dressed in suits are disturbing!
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For some reason your post refuses to appear in my followed sites reader…
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Hearing about lots of glitches since WP added that crappy new ‘My Home’ page to replace the old ‘My Site’ page.
Super annoying when everything starts bugging when it was working fine before 😕
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