Six Sentence Stories: The Girl in the Coat

FAO Schwarz Fall / Winter catalogue logo. 1980. US.

Greetings, vintage mates. I’m linking up with Denise at Girlie On The Edge Blog, where she hosts Six Sentence Stories, and the cue word this time is Coat.

The Girl in the Coat


The harsh Winter was almost over, yet no less fierce with the promise of precious Spring about to come: that blissful, two, three weeks at best, tolerable weather event, before the incomprehensible heat of Summer broiled us in our skins.

The girl, she was shivering under blankets plundered from the last town we passed; the forsaken church we had taken shelter in, before the roof collapsed under the weight of snow as filthy and heavy as a Christmas scene postcard sent straight from hell.

The girl, feverish, with me as her guide, the endless walking, sleeping in abandoned trucks and barns, chicken coops long ago ransacked of fowl and eggs, the girl, the girl, the girl and me, hiding in trees from marauders and murderers, and those driven mad by Summer and Winter’s brutal empire… the girl, oh that poor girl, how she shivered.

The girl, in her fever, she called out to me: “Mommy…” and I wept for the girl, and for her mother too – and whichever cruel season had snatched her away.

And I wondered: should I give the girl my coat… if I did, she would surely survive until Spring, yes, but I would freeze, for certain, me… her weathered protector, her compass, her source of advice and well of resourcefulness, her hand to hold in countless blizzards and wind and rain and fog and storms, and heatwaves out to desiccate us.

The girl, I stared at her trembling bag of bones body, me… with no maternal feathers nor stripes to call my own, and she, the girl, the girl, no daughter of mine, just a girl I once found hiding under a bed; the girl who I take my coat off to and wrap around her frame, and fasten each button as her eyes at last brighten, and me, shivering now, the fingers of the wind entering my pores like frost-swords and ice-needles, my eyes glazing over as I give the girl up to the coming of Spring and all I had taught her.


#climate #change #care #love

The Girl in the Coat is inspired by The Road by Cormac McCarthy

Huge thanks to Denise for hosting Six Sentence Stories #inspiring

25 thoughts on “Six Sentence Stories: The Girl in the Coat

  1. One of the things I love about your writting is that you set me up cosy and all and then there is that dark twist …
    Also, you seem to be in perfect synch with that “voice” signalling when to stop morphing your creation. One more note, brush, word…a delicate, taxing, terrifying, wonderful balancing act.
    Cheers my friend!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Maybe I should thank my childhood TV ‘Tales of the Unexpected’ and ‘Twilight Zone’ for that sting in the tail. I remember winning poetry and story comps at school and the teachers being pleased with any twists I added.
      You just described it so perfectly then… the ‘balancing act’ you know all too well yourself the ‘downing of tools’ is synch with that ‘voice’.
      Thanks, my friend, for your good eye and thoughts!

      Liked by 1 person

      • You’re so welcome! Captivating writing.

        Yes, these community prompt challenges are great because it pulls everyone in different directions. I’m not sure if it’s still going, but when I first started posting here there was a 99-word fiction challenge going around and the responses were always fun to read. I do admire those who can pack so much into such short stories.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. “…hiding in trees from marauders and murderers, and those driven mad by Summer and Winter’s brutal empire.”
    Excellent imagery.
    ‘specially liked the (repeated) use of the word ‘girl’
    (Would imagine there’s a cool greek-clad word for whatever rhetorical device it represents)

    Good Six, yo

    Liked by 1 person

Reply to this blog post

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.